That Close.

Nota bene: We were pissed after the game. Most of you can probably imagine (Macey used to cheer against USC in the big games, just cuz he knew we'd go buy a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 2 liter of Coke if we lost). A couple of our fellow law students attempted to console us with things like "At least you didn't get blown out" or "If my team had been that close to the #2 ranked team I'd be dang happy."

That's a load of crock in our book. So was the applause that the students and fans gave the team after the game was over.

There are no such things as "moral victories" in college football - either you win or you don't. A few UF graduates now USC law students heard us and commented that we sounded like Florida fans with our high expectations. Maybe so. If expecting to win each game and being ticked when we don't (especially when we could have) is a Gator trait, then maybe we're at the wrong school. But we don't think we are. And neither does Spurrier, according to this morning's paper: "Cheers ring hollow: Spurrier says fans need to raise their expectations; team does not deserve an ovation after a loss, no matter how close the outcome"

Right to Privacy?

Southern patriotism at its finest

Last night at the halftime of the Carolina game, USC and The Mighty Sound of the Southeast (Carolina marching band) had a halftime program to honor the past and present troops serving our country in the armed forces. Patriotic medleys, flags, veterans, troops in uniforms, balloons, etc. - it was quite the spectacle.

Being the good ol' Bible belt school that we are, the crowd sang God Bless America, and then were led in a prayer for our soldiers, followed by a long moment of silence as a the band played taps in honor of those soldiers who have given their lives for our freedom.

If having 80,000 people remain silent for an extended period of time is impressive, what was more impressive was what one loyal student yelled out to break the silence:

"God bless America!"

Silence.

"And F--k Osama bin Laden and those Afghannis!!"

Silence.

"Support your troops, b---ches!"

Consfused(?) silence.

"Go Cocks!"

The student section erupts in applause.

If only our student section at Covenant had been this colorful.

Oil Slick

This evening gas was down to $2.08.

Later tonight we purchased gas for $1.99/gallon.

Shortly thereafter we passed another gas station where it was $1.08.

At this rate, by morning we should be back down to a 1-1 dollar-gallon correlation.

OPEC is probably sleepless with concern.

Legal Services for Hire

Dear Murray,

I am advised that you may be in need of an attorney's professional services. May I be so bold as to recommend myself? While your past legal problems may be unsolvable at present, I am of the opinion that I can offer you legal confidence in your future endeavors, and as a result, peace of mind.

As proof, let me suggest what could have been a possible remedy for a situation you recently encountered, in hopes that my analysis of that prior problem will assure you of my future expertise. As you are aware, on or about August 12, 2006, you placed a bet with one Jamey P., wherein you agreed to pay him $100 if he could swim across the intracostal canal and back. He did. In his suit pants, I might add. This put you in the hole 100 bucks.(1) In hind sight, you recognized this to be a bad decision.(2)

For $25 I could have saved you $100.(3) Had I been your corporate counsel, I would have given you the following advice: Rather than placing a bet with Jamey, you should have entered into an oral contract. Oral contracts can be binding, and most folks (Jamey included) are more comfortable with the legality of "contracts" as opposed to friendly wagers. However, the terms of your agreement with Jamey would have classifed your agreement as a unilateral contract (rather than a bilateral contract). This is good for you. In a bilateral contract, parties exchange promises of performance to take place in the future. Such contracts are generally enforceable when consideration is present.

Unilateral contracts, on the other hand, exist when the offeror (in this case you) offers to exchange his promise of a future performance only in return for the offeree's (Jamey) actual rendering of performance, e.g. "I will give you $100 if you swim across the canal and back." You do not want Jamey's PROMISE to swim the canal, you want the ACT of swimming the canal.

What's this got to do with the price of tea in China? In contract law, a contract is not enforceable until there has been an offer, acceptance, and some sort of consideration between the parties, which, in unilateral contracts, such consideration and acceptance is bound up together in the rendering of the desired performance. And, because the "offeror is the master of the offer," until an offer is accepted the offeror retains the right to revoke the contract at any time. Thus, as classical theory of contracts would suggest, until Jamey has swam the entire canal, you are not bound to pay Jamey, because no contract actually arises until the completion of the act called for.

With the bet, once Jamey jumped in the water, most people (Jamey especially) expected you to pay. With a unilateral contract, once Jamey had swum across the canal and was headed back, you still retained the right to withdraw your offer, at which point "all bets are off." Despite Jamey's objections that this is a bit hard on him, classic contract theory suggests that "hard" cases should not make bad law.(4) Jamey was not bound to swim the canal, and if he is will-free, shouldn't you be will-free as well? So despite your propensity for brash betting and impulsive gambling, a unilateral contract would have given you time to pause, consider the consequences, and recant, regardless of where Jamey and his suit pants were currently swimming.

As for your terrible golf game, you may wish to seek professional counsel elsewhere.

I hope to be of service, and I look forward to working with you in the future.

Sincerely,

The Sleuth



(1) Murray subsequently attempted to win this money back with a series of smaller bets, the majority of which centered around golf, compounded by "double or nothing" bets. He lost all of them.

(2) As taken from Murray's Myspace "Blurb": "I recently lost one of my wallets. Word of advice: don't play golf when you have work to do. 2nd word of advice: don't bet money when you can just dare. 3rd word of advice: don't bet money on your golf game. 4th word of advice: don't do any of that when you are missing your wallet."

(3) $25 initial consultation fee based on average costs for similar legal counsel. Prices may vary, see office for details.

(4) Jamey may also raise issues of limitations on untrammelled revocability, but he wouldn't know what the heck that is anyway.

Vatican Sleuth

The recent Muslim reactions to the Pope's comments last week have me thinking again about this religion known as Islam. I still stand by my previous thoughts during the whole Muhammed cartoon kerfuffle, that Islam by it's very nature is a religion of violence and agression.

To be sure, the Pope's comments may have been ambiguous as to whether he was stating personal opinion, vatican views or just quoting medieval leaders. "‘Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Regardless, it is again the Muslim reaction that is more telling. And, as my now beloved James Taranto suggests, if the Pope (and myself) was wrong in suggesting that Islam is violent, perhaps torching churches and threatening war against "worshippers of the cross" is not the best way to make your point.

Or maybe it's my point (and the Pope's/medieval dude's) that's being made.

Sleuth is a Wall Street Journal contributor

The Wall Street Journal publishes a daily "best of the web" segment on their website, a humorous look at the important (and sometimes not so important though highly publicized) news items of each day. It's compiled by James Taranto, the WSJ's inhouse blogger and an occasional guest on Fox News.

After our "oily concerns" blog post on Monday, we got to thinking and decided to email James Taranto and see what he thought about our journalistic sleuthing.

Apparently, he liked it a lot. Or enough to include it in today's Wall Street Journal installment

The text below is his rendition of our "Oily Concerns" post.


Hard to Please
Here's an amusing series of news headlines about the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. Dollar figures in parentheses are the price of a barrel of crude at the time of the article:

"OPEC Secretary-General Expresses Concern Over Rising Oil Prices"--May 16, 2004 ($40.77)

"OPEC Says It's Lost Control of Oil Prices"--March 14, 2005 ("north of $50 a barrel and rising")

"OPEC President Voices Concerns Over Rising Prices"--Aug. 28, 2005 ($66.13)

"Falling Oil Prices Add to Opec's Worries"--Sept. 12, 2006 ($63.76)
OK, we can reconcile the last two headlines and conclude that the optimal price of oil is somewhere between $63.77 and $66.12. But how can $63.76 be too low while $40.77 is too high? It's Goldilocks in Bizarro World!


Lest you doubt us, the bottom of every Best of the Web includes his thanks to the contributors:

"Thanks to John Krickus, Ed Lasky, Fritz Sands, [Sleuth]..."

Oily concerns

"OPEC Secretary-General Expresses Concern Over Rising Oil Prices," By Tim Johnston, VOA News. May 16, 2004
(oil was $40.77 a barrel at this time)

"OPEC says it's lost control of oil prices," by MSNBC.com & Rueters. 14 Mar 2005.
(oil was $50+ a barrel at this time)

"OPEC president voices concerns over rising prices," USA Today (Associated Press), August 28, 2005.
(oil was $66.13 a barrel at this time)

"OPEC concerned over falling oil prices," Financial Times. September 10 2006
(oil is at $67 a barrel, down from $77 a barrel a few weeks prior)

"OPEC stands for "Omigosh, Please Express Concern," Manville Times. September 11, 2006

Which is why I suggest you all try this (not so new) product:

The Master Card (my student ID)

A semester's tuition at the University of South Carolina Law School = $7,992


Books for my first 5 classes in law school = $650


Amount of money on my Carolina Card for lunch this fall = $425


Spending a weekend evening at home with 80,000 of my closest friends = Priceless


There are some things money can't buy, but if you think about it, even getting a "free" student ticket to the footbal game cost me a pretty penny. So I will enjoy every last cent of it.

Go Cocks.

Pronounced "Chay-Pin"

Today we rejoined an annual tradition from which we have been absent for several years - the Chapin Labor Day Parade. Everybody who's anybody is there. Including all of our extended family. Seriously, where else can you get a year's supply of candy in under 2 hours?

As you probably know, the Labor Day holiday was first celebrated in the late 1800s as an occasion to salute the working class and hold a parade. In Chapin, we take that time honored tradition to heart. Especially the parade part.

And, as The State newspaper suggests, being in the Chapin Labor Day parade won’t guarantee you a political victory in South Carolina, but history proves it definitely doesn’t hurt. Past political parade participants include former U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond (he rarely missed this parade), President George W. Bush, U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson, Gov. Mark Sanford, and former Govs. Jim Hodges, David Beasley and Carroll Campbell.

Today's parade did not disappoint. As of the 2000 census, the Town Limits of Chapin contain a population of 624. Today's parade had over 10,000 spectators. And what a show they saw. Being an election year, the parade brought out everybody from county council and school board members to Represenatives, Senators, Congressman, and the Governor. We had floats from our Dixie Youth Baseball Allstars to the Chapin Baptist Children's Ministry, from the local BBQ joints to BiLo grocery, from the CHS marching band to the local cloggers.

We had the perennial crowd favorite Jamil Temple riders on their little gocarts doing figure eights like no 75 year old you've ever seen before...


We had the local square dancers club...


...and the parade regular firefighters, whose truck broke down and had to get pushed a few hundred yards before they jumped it off again. A vote of confidence for my homeowner's fire insurance...


We even had a float with some cows on it.


Sorry, that was actually a picture of a new addition to the parade this year, Chapin's fine "Desert Jewels". Apparently they are a local belly dancing club/organization, which, as my uncle noted, makes perfect sense, seeing as all the women had a lot of belly to dance with. Apparently they'd been hanging out too much on the Hardee's float in front of them. Shleigh, Paige and Tricia, with those belly dancing videos you had in college you may have a spot in next year's parade lineup.

Here's the cow.


All said it was a great use of our morning. If you ever wanna see some $100,000 tractors, or a host of utility trailers turned floats, the Labor Day parade is the place for you. If its got wheels or moves, we've got a spot for you. There were even several seniors on their electric wheelchairs (though whether they were official parade entrants is debatable).

Chapin: Capital of Lake Murray. Ya'll come visit now, hear?

TGIF

Life is good.

Our Gamecocks managed to grab a win last night and are now undefeated in SEC play (at least for a week), and we got called on in Workhard Burkhard's class this morning to answer a question no one could seem to get - and we nailed it. So much so that he asked us to repeat our explanation because it was an important distinction for the class to understand.

Also, no school on Monday. A clap offering for schools who recognize holidays other than Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Litigious Laughter (law school's equivalent of Monday's with Murray)

Now that I have taken a temporary leave of absense from MPC, and by default, Murray, I have begun looking for blogalternatives for my regular and consistent "themed blog entries". Seeing that the majority of my legal education will consist of reading case law, highlighting laughable litigation which I have recenlty studied may suffice as a substitute for my Monday column.

Try this one on for size.

Leonard v. Pepsico, Inc. 88 F.Supp.2d 116 (S.D.N.Y 1999)

Defendant conducted an advertising campaign in which you could redeem "Pepsi points" found on its products for various items of merchandise shown in the "Pepsi Stuff" catalog. (if my pop culture memory serves me correctly, the catch phrase was something like "Drink Pepsi. Get Stuff.")

Plaintiff Leonard asserted the right to buy a Harrier jet plane for 15 Pepsi points and $700,000. The plane was not listed in the catalog, but was shown in the TV commercials as being available for 7 million Pepsi points. The Pepsi points, as described int eh catalog, were also available for purchase at 10 cents apiece. Plaintiff, "through acquaintances," had raised $700,000 which he asserted to be the equivalent of 7 million Pepsi points. He included the 15 points because the catalog indicated taht each offer had to be accompanied by a minimum of 15 actual Pepsi points, the rest could be made up with cash equivalent. The plane was valued by the Court at $23 million.

Court ruled for the Defendant, stipulating that no reasonable viewer could have understood that the jet plane shown in the ad was seriously offered as a premium for purchase of the defendant's soft drinks.

Nice try though. Thanks for playing.

Lord, I was born a South Carolina attorney man

Lest you have any doubts, observe us along with our current professors for Torts, Contracts, Property, and the Dean of the law school...









This next one may seem out of place. It's not. Professor Cross (below) showed up to the first day of class with a bowtie AND a seersucker suit. We can tell that we are gonna be friends. (After complimenting him on his outfit, he informed us that in fact he cannot tie the bowties himself but that his wife ties them for him. Further, if he ever shows up to class wearing a regular tie, its because he and his wife had some sort of "disagreement" and she didn't tie his tie for him that morning.) He showed up the following class with a bowtie, looked at us and winked and said "I'm wearing another bowtie. That's a good sign, right?"

College Football

From day one of orientation, the prevailing thought in the back of everyone's mind (besides "I hope I don't get called on in class") is football. Carolina Football.

While USC is not consistently in the top 25, and may not have the winning football tradition of a Tennessee, Alabama, Michigan, or Oklahoma, the preoccupation with our football team and the incredible spirit of loyalty surrounding the Gamecocks is one of the strongest and finest in the country. And that's not just me talking - that's a general consensus among other fans, coaches, and sports analysts.

However, we also happen to have a pretty dang good team of the other football variety - soccer.

True to my Covenant Scots roots, the first sporting event that I will attend while an official Gamecock law student is tomorrow night's season opener against Clemson. USC v. Clemson. Preseason #24 v. #5. 2005 Conf. USA Champs v. 2005 Final 4 Participant. In state rivals and bitter enemies.

This is like Covenant v. Bryan for your first game, only with immediate National ranking implications and statewide attention. Unlike Covenant v. Bryan, people outside of Lookout Mountain, GA and Dayton TN actually care about this. And I plan to be there, front and center, proudly wearing my Beat Clemson t-shirt.

Go Cocks.

Tales from USC law school

I composed most of the following during a Legal Writing class this week. In hindsight, the story was much funnier in person and probably not that entertaining on paper. But since I've already typed it up, and I have nothing else yet from this week, here it is.

Last night one of the student organizations in the University of South Carolina (henceforth and forevermore "USC") Law School hosted a social for the first year law students (which are generally referred to as 1L's). Free drinks at The Saloon in Five Points. I went, figuring it was a good chance to meet my classmates and if nothing else to get some free beer.

Upon entering The Saloon I felt about as out of place as a minister in a pioneer town bar. Apparently everybody else there had already made friends with each other, or knew most everybody from their undergraduate days. That, or they were just very adept at meeting people and making small talk in the traditional bar scene, something which I neither claim to be good at nor enjoy doing. With everybody already mingling in their groups of 3 or 4, I got a drink and found a corner with at TV and Monday Night Football.

Thankfully I ended up meeting a few guys that I had talked to earlier that day, and we ended up spending the entire evening chatting in that same corner. That is, until Neil arrived.

Neil is the quintessential southern frat boy/class clown/smarter than he acts but dumber than his opinionated personality would have you believe kind of guy. He's very friendly, energetic, a great story teller, and will probably do well in life either as a salesman or in politics. Or, if the saying around the law school is true, that A students will be professors, B students will be judges, and C students will be lawyers, then Neil will probably be a dang good lawyer someday. He's probably 6'2", about 225, is a diehard Carolina fan and drops the F bomb at least once every other sentence. Neil is the kind of guy I want to have on my side down the road.

After pointing out to us the 5 hottest girls in our class and explaining how the guys flocking to the beautiful 6'2" tall brunette didn't stand a chance against ol Neil himself, Neil then related a story that had taken place earlier that day.

In our lunchtime meetings with our advisors, Neil had ended up getting the yankee professor whom I had seen earlier that day and from across the room had easily pegged as a New Yorker. The prof is short, bald, and always has his arms crossed. I've never heard him speak, but it wasn't hard to imagine his whiny New York accent. You know the type, a cross between Danny Devito and George Costanza, only with the harsher legal professor side. Anyway, it got to the question portion of our advising, but none of the students seemed confident enough to ask a question. So Neil did.

Neil: Yeah, so I'm having a tough time understanding this Oregon v. Haley case that we've got to read.

Prof: Okay. Here's the gist of it. (He then launches into a lengthy verbal essay on the topic, complete with Latin phrases and other lengthy legal mumbo jumbo.

Neil’s commentating on the narrative: This was not helpful. I didn’t understand a word that MFer said. He just made things worse and more confusing. Of course nobody was gonna say otherwise, cuz they were too scared or nervous. I wouldn’t have said anything either, for fear that he’d start talking in that other language again.

Silence ensued.

Neil couldn’t stand the silence, so he thought he’d ask a little easier ice breaking question.

Neil: So what’s the deal with football tickets? We getting em or what?

Prof: (shocked that a law student would bother him with something so trivial) Hell if I know. I’ve been here 24 years, got really good season tickets the first year I was here and haven’t used them once since then.

Neil: (shocked that a USC season ticket holder would be so trivial about something so sacred) WHAT?!? Well maybe you and me can be like buddy buddy or something, you know, and I can help you use those tickets.

Prof: (somewhat perturbed) They’re already spoken for.

Neil’s narrative: More silence ensued. People had decided that this guy was a real jerk. I was nervous because I had already ticked off one of my profs, and it wasn’t even the end of the first day. Damn.

Prof: (rhetorically and hoping to bring up a teaching point) How many of you are GUARANTEED a job when you graduate?

Neil’s Narrative: Man, I’m in the military, so I know I got a job when I get out. I raised my hand and looked around, and damned if I wasn’t the only F-er raising my hand in our group.

Prof: (very sarcastically) Well maybe hot stuff here has got it all figured out and can manage to slack off in school and go to all the football games, but the rest of us are probably going to have to put in some hard work...

Neil’s Narrative: I was about to quit school right then. I mean, does it get any worse?

Jason’s MetaNarrative: I’m glad I’m not Neil. But I still think Neil is somebody I will want to know before it’s all said and done, even if that only means he may help me with something so trivial as football tickets.

MPC Roofing Tricks of the Trade: Tips 2 and 3

Tip 2: Don't expect to play golf or do cool things for your birthday when tractor trailers are scheduled to drop off thousands of tiles at your customer's house. Instead, decide to make a weekend of loading 3,000 lb. pallets of tiles on to a 25 ft. roof with a 25,000 lb. lull. This is called fun, MPC style.

Tip 3: Always refer to the 25,000 lb lull as a BFL (see previous entries re: a BFTV and a BFD and BFC.

On New Beginnings

In four days I will once again be moving, from south Florida to Columbia, SC. Though excited to be moving home, to be closer to family, and to finally begin my long anticipated goal of starting law school, I will not leave south Florida without some sadness - saying goodbye to friends (both new and old), retiring from one of the most trying and yet rewarding jobs of my life (running a small roofing business), and leaving the warm, cordial, hospitable and welcoming displaced Yankees that have overtaken every building department, municipal governments, neighborhood and construction related company in south Fla. Actually, no, I'll only miss the friends and Meyer's Pride.

I always look forward to fresh starts and new beginnings - they are sort of like life's version of a new year, a chance to wipe your slate clean and start afresh. Likewise, I generally approach these new experiences with new resolutions and goals - things I wish I had done in the chapter of life that just ended, and which I hope this new chapter will allow me to accomplish.

To continue with the "book of life" analogy, I often find myself thinking that the first few chapters of my book were solid - well written and full of promise for the later chapters. But the more recent "chapters" have lacked the quality that I had earlier anticipated, and i'm left hoping that the book gets better soon.

Apparently C. H. Spurgeon encountered similar sentiments, and today's Morning and Evening devotion is both reassuring, timely and challenging:

"Numbers of Christians can view the past with pleasure, but regard the present with dissatisfaction; they look back upon the days which they have passed in communing with the Lord as being the sweetest and the best they have ever known, but as to the present, it is clad in a sable garb of gloom and dreariness. Once they lived near to Jesus, but now they feel that they have wandered from him, and they say, “O that I were as in months past!” They complain that they have lost their evidences, or that they have not present peace of mind, or that they have no enjoyment in the means of grace, or that conscience is not so tender, or that they have not so much zeal for God’s glory. The causes of this mournful state of things are manifold. It may arise through a comparative neglect of prayer, for a neglected closet is the beginning of all spiritual decline. Or it may be the result of idolatry. The heart has been occupied with something else, more than with God; the affections have been set on the things of earth, instead of the things of heaven. A jealous God will not be content with a divided heart; he must be loved first and best. He will withdraw the sunshine of his presence from a cold, wandering heart. Or the cause may be found in self-confidence and self-righteousness. Pride is busy in the heart, and self is exalted instead of lying low at the foot of the cross. Christian, if you are not now as you “were in months past,” do not rest satisfied with wishing for a return of former happiness, but go at once to seek your Master, and tell him your sad state. Ask his grace and strength to help you to walk more closely with him; humble yourself before him, and he will lift you up, and give you yet again to enjoy the light of his countenance. Do not sit down to sigh and lament; while the beloved Physician lives there is hope, nay there is a certainty of recovery for the worst cases."

MPC Roofing Tricks of the Trade: Tip 1

How to make your 16 foot ladder reach 24 feet.



A solid 30 points, if not a bit unsafe.

MPC Employee of the Week

We return today to our weekly spotlight on an MPC employee. Today's highlighted worker is one of our favorites, and an absolute must have on any roofing team. We would be lost without him.

Meet Jesus. Jesus Gutierrez.



Since we asked Jesus to come into our roofing crew, our jobs have been forever changed. Jesus is a reliable worker; he is always there for us, and we know we can count on him. Sometimes the rest of our roofers will pick on him, and cast insults at him, but he simply turns his cheek and continues to work his good on our roofs. These boys may ridicule, but as aspiring small business owners concerned about productivity and team leadership, we know that Real Men love Jesus. Despite teasing him, most of our crew actually admire Jesus a great deal - they trust him, and we have often seen them lean on him as they work near the edge of a roof. During the hot hours of the afternoon, Jesus will often bring the cooler up on the roof, and from every corner of the house the crews will come to Jesus for that living, refreshing water.

No nails? No Jesus. Know nails? Know Jesus.

We rejoice at the good work Jesus has done for us, and we continue to praise his efforts on roofs around the county. Thank you, Jesus. It's because of men like you that we can gladly proclaim, "Our boss is a roofer."

Sleuth TV

While mindlessly surfing the Direct TV channels tonight, Winston and I stumbled upon a station I had never noticed before.

Sleuth.

That's right, I now have my own tv station. Apparently this isn't a long hidden secret, but a brand new channel whose debut on Direct TV was only June 1 of this year. As you can guess from the name, this Disney channel is dedicated to all things detective, with mystery and crime type shows being the top viewing choices.

Although, when I sarcastically asked Winston what a tv channel called Sleuth would air, he responded in kind - "Anything that's slippery, I guess."



Of course, while it's great to get a tv station named after you, I kind of wish my nickname in college had been something a little more hip, like ESPN or Spike or The Weather. Then having a tv channel named after me would be even sweeter.