The BFD

“Brien has lost his mind.” That was all Jamey could say for the entire remainder of the afternoon. Brien had summoned us after church on Sunday to meet him with my truck to pick up a desk he had purchased on Craigslist. We arrived at a neighborhood that required a check in at the gate that was more strict than most military bases I have been on. By neighborhood I mean small city. It was some sort of a planned community, with “small” enclaves of 50 house neighborhoods off to each side of the main road. Man made lakes, golf courses, clubhouses, etc. No house under $1 million.

The man who owned the desk was an executive recruiter for a company that makes nice desks. He had a picture of his first $ billion on the wall. The desk was made of solid maple. It was huge. Despite the fact that his small children were constantly around us as we moved the desk, this exec cussed up a storm. We’re not sure, but we believe that he was the originator of the name by which our office desk is now affectionately known – BFD (cf Doom and BFG).

Did I mention the desk was gargantuan? It took all of my and Brien’s truck and over an hour to load it all up. Jamey continued to lament that he wasn’t at home watching the Olympics and napping and repeated his “Brien had lost his mind” claim like a broken record.

Three Men and Two Trucks. Jamey was still in his church clothes. Brien had come straight from his soccer game wearing short shorts and socks pulled up over his knees. I was the only one dressed to move. The cussing exec couldn’t believe we hadn’t brought pads, blankets, and tie downs for the desk. I couldn’t believe the exec cussed in front of his little girl. Jamey couldn’t believe Meyer’s Pride had purchased such an enormous desk – this was the type of desk that Bill Gates has in his office. Brien couldn’t believe the cussin exec had thrown in a wall picture as part of the deal – complete with papers of authenticity.

We got the BFD home. Moving it out of the cussin exec’s huge house with four of us was difficult, moving into our average home with three of us was purt near impossible. We got it halfway in before we realized that it wouldn’t fit down the hallway and around the doorway into the office. It got stuck. There we were with Bill Gates’ BFD and nowhere to put it.

Jamey reminded Brien that he had lost his mind. Brien lamented this rash purchase. I laughed. Then I got to thinking – the BFD might fit through the window. A few quick measurements confirmed my suspicions – BFD would fit through with an inch to spare. A few calls and we had organized a group of guys from church to come by the next night to help with the move.

The guys arrived promptly the next night. Brien and I showed up minutes later…with the BFC we had found and purchased from Craigslist. By BFC I mean a leather sectional sofa with a double sleeper bed. It’s green. After giving the guy cash for the sofa, we went to move it out of his house. It got stuck in the front door. The guy was confused. His wife was convinced it wouldn’t fit. Brien and I were stunned by the possibility that we had purchased two BFPOF – a BFD that wouldn’t fit in the house, and a BFC that wouldn’t fit out of the house. Thankfully, the guy had a big enough hammer, and we managed to beat it through the front door.

The recruits had heard about the BFD – they had no idea about the BFC. They were not excited about the BFC. But, with an army of able bodied men we were able to fit the BFD and it’s many pieces through the window and into the office as well as move the BFC into the living area.

Below are some pics of the BFD and the BFC. We have applied to be members of the local BFBusiness Bureau.