What do Spurrier and the Rules of Civil Procedure Have in Common?

Nothing.

But you better believe that if our Gamecocks ever make it to the National Championship while we are practicing law, we'll do the same thing.

We love the SEC.

Hand Painting - The Zebra

We recently came across an artist by the name of Guido Daniele. Mr. Daniele does finger painting - not painting WITH his fingers, but actually painting his fingers. And his knuckles. And his entire hand. Actually, he's what you call (or they call) a body painter; he paints pictures on his body, and then photographs them for posterity (at least, the posterity who are willing to pay him some money for his efforts).

The paintings are nothing short of impressive. Here's Zebra:

Quote of the Week

Let's not even mention butter beans:

"A contrasting view is presented by theorist Gayle Rubin, who endorses a system of sexual pluralism. Rubin posits that American culture has a fundamentally unhealthy view of sexuality, one that demands conformity and repression to an extent that would never be tolerated in other areas of human existence. According to Rubin, society is unwilling to acknowledge the possibility that sexual preferences could simply be a matter of taste; that sodomy, for example, could be a lot like lima beans — some like ’em, some don’t, and some could take ’em or leave ’em. She believes the answer is sexual pluralism, a society where sex is judged and limited only by “the way partners treat one another, the level of mutual consideration, the presence or absence of coercion, and the quantity and quality of the pleasures they provide.”

- Substantive Due Process and the Problem of Horse Sex, by by Natalie Daniels (Washington Bar Association, November 2006)

Tim Tebow and Education in South Carolina: Musings on why WE should have won the Heisman Trophy

Turns out home school kids are good at something besides spelling bees. Word on the street? They’re good at football, too.

Tonight, for the first time in it’s 72-year history, a sophomore won the most coveted award in all of college football – the Heisman Tropy. Tim Tebow, the heralded quarterback for the University of Florida, beat out two other quarterbacks and a running back to earn the trophy, and with it, the admiration of Gator Nation.

The only people happier than the Orange and Blue? Home school Nation. Why?

Tim Tebow was home schooled.

You read that right. Those shy, awkward, sheltered, denim-wearing (explains why Tebow chose to go to school in the jean-short wearing mecca of Gainesville) social oddballs produced a Heisman winner. And those shy, awkward, sheltered, denim-wearing social oddballs produced us, a second year law student at a second tier law school.

Come to think of it, that should have been our trophy.

We were home schooled. Just like Tim Tebow.
Our parents are missionaries. Just like Tim Tebow’s.
We played high school football. Just like Tim Tebow.
We should have won the Heisman. Instead of Tim Tebow.

Ok, that's where the analogy breaks down. We did play football in high school (see also, flag and two-hand touch), and we were good, REAL good. We just didn't play FOR a high school.

But don't blame us -- blame the state of South Carolina.

When we were in high school, the political hot topic (at least in the home school circles) was whether home school kids should be allowed to play for their local high school's sports teams. We had friends who helped spearhead the efforts for equal access in South Carolina. Some of them were motivated by their desire to play college soccer some day. For all intents and purposes, playing high school soccer experience is a necessary prerequisite.

The political push for equal access peaked in 1996, when the South Carolina General Assembly decided they knew best – and equal access was not it.

Despite their hard work, South Carolina home schoolers had lost the game. Or was it South Carolina that dropped the ball?

In that very same year, 1996, Florida passed a law that allowed homeschoolers in the state to play for the high school in which district the homeschooler resided. Tim Tebow took advantage of that law, and played football for his local high school. His high school won the state championship, and he went on to play college football for UF. Coincidentally, 1996 was also the first year the University of Florida ever won a national championship in football.

The rest is history. As in, Tebow made history. All season, he’s been setting records. Tonight, he became the first sophomore quarterback to EVER win the Heisman Trophy.
And it doesn't stop there. Tebow's impressive skills, and his likeable charm and charisma, have made him many a fan around the SEC (and the country).

In fact, one state has even named a bill after him, Alabama’s Tim Tebow Bill. What's the law about? Letting home school kids play on their local high school's teams. Go figure.

Do you think, if the Tim Tebow Bill becomes law, it will be because the legislators thought those home school folks actually had a good idea, for once? We suppose its possible. More likely, the people of Alabama will pass that bill for the same reason their university shelled out $32 million for Nick Saban.

Football.

In the world of Southern football, anything they [insert rival SEC school] can do, we can do better. If a simple education initiative can get Florida a Heisman winner and the caliber quarterback you need for a National Championship team, you can be darn well sure that Alabama will do anything to compete. In fact, we wouldn't be surprised if every state with an SEC school in it shortly follows suit.

Except South Carolina.

They had their chance. The same year as Florida. Was "future Heisman winner" on their minds when the Florida legislature voted that bill into law? The odds makers say no. More likely, they were just looking at the tangible benefits of allowing equal access. South Carolina could have made the same decision - for those same right reasons.

Had they had some sense about them, in addition to the many benefits that equal access could have had on ailing South Carolina schools, it might have been the Gamecocks with a Heisman Trophy winner tonight. And rather than the mess we know as the 2007 “quarterback quagmire,” it could have been the Gamecocks who were looking at 2 more years with a record-setting player under center.

But better late than never, right? Maybe South Carolina can make the right decision now, even if for the wrong reasons. A wrong reason like, say, football. The loyal fans of the University of South Carolina want nothing more than to win a national championship. Even just a SEC championship. We're pretty sure they'd settle for a Heisman winner.

All our General Assembly has to do is draft it’s own Tim Tebow Bill. If they need some help, we've got a whole group of home educators who probably have some dust covered drafts of similar legislation lying around their house. Yeah, its over their in the corner next to the quilting materials and behind the 16 musical instruments.

You want a Heisman trophy winner, Gamecock Nation? Get on the phone first thing Monday morning and tell you legislator to pass the Tim Tebow Bill on the first day back in session this January.

You want a national championship, Steve Spurrier? Our suggestion: drop one political hot topic (the Confederate flag) and pick up another one – the Tim Tebow Bill. It’s a win-win situation, one of the easiest, cheapest, low-risk high-payoff recruiting strategies you could make, and it's a lot more pertinent to your job as a football coach.

What have we got to lose? If the state is scared about some adverse affect on education, just check the rankings. It’s hard to go much lower than 50 out of 50. Last I checked, the only thing South Carolina is ranked lower in that education is, well, football.

But we doubt The Head Ball Coach will take our advice. And we doubt the Legislature will either. Of course, that's probably because neither read our blog.

Instead, South Carolina's schools will continue to compete for the bottom of the barrel...not unlike our football team.

And we’ll go down in history right alongside Darren McFadden, Colt Brennan, and Chase Daniel.

Almost a Heisman Winner.