Sleuth TV

While mindlessly surfing the Direct TV channels tonight, Winston and I stumbled upon a station I had never noticed before.

Sleuth.

That's right, I now have my own tv station. Apparently this isn't a long hidden secret, but a brand new channel whose debut on Direct TV was only June 1 of this year. As you can guess from the name, this Disney channel is dedicated to all things detective, with mystery and crime type shows being the top viewing choices.

Although, when I sarcastically asked Winston what a tv channel called Sleuth would air, he responded in kind - "Anything that's slippery, I guess."



Of course, while it's great to get a tv station named after you, I kind of wish my nickname in college had been something a little more hip, like ESPN or Spike or The Weather. Then having a tv channel named after me would be even sweeter.

Dog Tired

There are some people to whom you’d rather not sell a roof. And there are some times that these people actually sign up with you, despite your best efforts. There are many tricks of the trade when it comes to avoiding undesirable work, like overpricing the job, telling the customer you’ll get back to them (and then don’t), or just being straightforward and telling them you won’t do it. Usually these tricks work. Sometimes they don’t.

It’s funny. Often, as soon as you see the house you know the job is not worth your time. Or sometimes it’s when you finally meet the customer that you realize this job is a no go. But as the great theologian Blues Traveler once quipped, “the hook brings you back.” In roofing, the hook = money. Just when you think you’ve managed to dodge a roofing nightmare, the cash brings you back. When you look at the bottom line and realize how much you’ll make, somehow the potential headaches are forgotten, if just long enough for you to make the mistake of signing the contract with the customer. Oops.

Brien recently secured one of these jobs.

The first red flag came when the woman answered the door. Accompanied by a gang of dogs. Brien made his way through the yapping herd and attempted to discuss the roof situation with the owner. It didn’t take long for him to get frustrated with the mongrels and he asked if they could move outside. The woman agreed and quickly laid out her plan of escape for Brien. “Go this way first,” she pointed, “and then quickly run back the other way and out that door over there. The dogs will think you’re going out the side and that will trick them just long enough for you to get out the back.”

The plan worked, although upon reaching the backyard Brien realized it housed as many dogs as the living room. The dogs were everywhere, and they tried to chase him as he scurried up the ladder. “I used to always swear that I would never have more than nine dogs, that I would never be one of those ‘double digit’ people with all the dogs,” the woman lamented out loud to Brien. He had no response for that.

Brien was ready to get the H out that place, and was making any excuse he could to leave when the woman pulled out her checkbook and asked him “How much do I owe you now?” Cha Ching! Now, no matter undesirable a job may be, when the customer appears to be eager to write checks willy nilly, its hard to say no to the easy cash flow. So Brien took it.

We may still regret this decision.

In all, we have counted approximately 25 dogs at this house. For now, we refer to this job by the woman’s last name, although on occasion we have dubbed the project the Nice Bitch House – after all, she is nice, and she does have a lot of female dogs. The owner has some of the biggest acreage we’ve seen yet down here in south Florida – she purchased one house, outgrew it with her dog family and when the lot next door when up for sale she purchased that too so the dogs would have more space to roam.

So far, every time a member of MPC has stopped by the house, the Dog Lady is cooking some dinner for the canines in a big black cauldron on the stove. We’re not sure what it is that she’s cooking, but we fear it may be the crew members of the previous roofing company she had hired.

We recently received a check in the mail from the Dog Lady. A small dog smiled at us from the return address, and the envelope had a postmark right across the dog stamp. The check had dogs all over it, and I am convinced that the envelope was not sealed with human saliva.

Winston has taken over this project, and I will post more stories from him as they develop. Until then, be careful who you sell a roof to.

Monday's with Murray: 7 Minute Abs

Murray: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Sleuth: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the exercise video.
Murray: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.
Sleuth: Right. Yes. OK, alright. I see where you're going.
Murray: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Sleuth: I would go for the 7.
Murray: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Sleuth: You guarantee it? That's -- how do you do that?
Murray: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Sleuth: That's right. That's -- that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Murray convulses]
Murray: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Sleuth: That -- good point.
Murray: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Sleuth: Why?
Murray: 'Cause you're frickin’ fired!

This makes pulling the fire alarm in Carter Hall look tame

Police: UCF Student Set Dorm Fire To Meet Women

A student at the University of Central Florida is accused of setting a fire on campus as a way to meet women, according to a Local 6 News report.

Police said Matthew Damsky admitted to lighting a couch on fire at the Academic Village Dorms last week.

Damsky told officers he hoped he would be able to meet women as the building was being evacuated.

He was arrested for arson and booked in to the Orange County Jail.

There were no injuries in connection with the fire.

MPC Employee of the Week

This week's employee spotlight shines on one of MPC's darker and more mysterious representatives. Our Project Manager, this employee was voted most likely to be a superhero, and has come to be affectionately known as the man of steel himself, James Winston Steele.

Winston hails from the northern section of the southern United States, a Virginian amphibian who spends as much time in water as he does on land. He is anything but colonial, however, and Winston brings a cutting edge fashion freakish flair to MPC, giving us a metrosexual side that Brien, Jason, and the rest of the boys are unable to provide. Winston loves water, whether drinking it or floating in it, he digs rap music, and would prefer not to tell you where he spends several of his hours every afternoon. Winston both lives and works with us, and we are glad to have such an energetic persoanility on our roofing team.


And now for a fun story with Winston.

Tired and frustrated from a long hard day of roofing, Winston cuddled up with a big 40 of Natural Ice while we all watched a movie last night. Winston was asleep long before the final credits. After cleaning up the kitchen and saying goodbye to our guests, our Man of Mystery was still sawing logs on the living room floor, sound asleep next to the box of peanut shells he had eated during the film.

Brien and I decided to have some fun.

The following pictures were taken over the course of about 15 minutes of goofing around, all the while Brien and I were giggling like little girls and beside ourselves with laughter at the fact that the Superhero Winston didn't wake up. I took about 25 pictures to document our actions - I have chosen only the best for this posting.

We began by putting a few peanut shells on Winston's cheek.

He didn't notice, so we added a few more.

And some more.

And some more.

And more.


The face wasn't enough, so we strategically placed some shells elsewhere on his person.

Still no response.

By the time Winston's face was covered with peanut shells, Brien decided to up the ante. He disappeared into the kitchen, returning soon thereafter with a can of garlic. He scooped out a large dip of garlic with an empty peanut shell, then proceeded to stuff the shell into one of Winston's nostrils. Nothing.



I was about to wet myself from stifling the laughter, but I mustered enough strength to get my own tormenting tool. Some lemon juice. I stood over Winston's face, dropping lemon juice on his nose from 3 feet up.

He didn't even flinch.

For a while we sat there, waiting with video camera in hand for Winston to wake up, hoping to capture on film the moment that Winston would awake, startled and suprised to find a use for peanuts that even George Washington Carver never imagined. We waited in vain.



Both tired, Brien and I finally decided that even better than having Winston wake up with the peanuts on his face would be to take the peanuts off, only to tell him the next day what had happened. Sure not to believe us, we would then show him the pictures, and we'd all get a good laugh. So, one by one, we removed each peanut shell from his face until they were all gone.


We've yet to tell him, and my hope is that the first time he hears of this will be when he next checks out the blog, or when one of you blog readers asks him about the peanut shells.

Until then, Superhero Winston will never know what us villians did last night.

Readings from Morning and Evening by C.H. Spurgeon

“Sanctify them through thy truth.”
John 17:17

Sanctification begins in regeneration. The Spirit of God infuses into man that new living principle by which he becomes “a new creature” in Christ Jesus.

This work, which begins in the new birth, is carried on in two ways—mortification, whereby the lusts of the flesh are subdued and kept under; and vivification, by which the life which God has put within us is made to be a well of water springing up unto everlasting life. This is carried on every day in what is called “perseverance,” by which the Christian is preserved and continued in a gracious state, and is made to abound in good works unto the praise and glory of God; and it culminates or comes to perfection, in “glory,” when the soul, being thoroughly purged, is caught up to dwell with holy beings at the right hand of the Majesty on high.

But while the Spirit of God is thus the author of sanctification, yet there is a visible agency employed which must not be forgotten. “Sanctify them,” said Jesus, “through thy truth: thy word is truth.” The passages of Scripture which prove that the instrument of our sanctification is the Word of God are very many. The Spirit of God brings to our minds the precepts and doctrines of truth, and applies them with power. These are heard in the ear, and being received in the heart, they work in us to will and to do of God’s good pleasure. The truth is the sanctifier, and if we do not hear or read the truth, we shall not grow in sanctification. We only progress in sound living as we progress in sound understanding. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” Do not say of any error, “It is a mere matter of opinion.” No man indulges an error of judgment, without sooner or later tolerating an error in practice.

Hold fast the truth, for by so holding the truth shall you be sanctified by the Spirit of God.

SP's Wedding

With a face like that, how can I not consider the outstanding offer of betrothel?


This picture is eerily similar to the "Amazing Race" photo of Elena holding a Mexican flag out of the sun roof in the Mini...


The newlyweds

More from SP's Wedding

The last eligible Strawbridge, for whom I saved the last dance (per her and her fathers request).


At little Mexican dance


Manville takes a turn with Elena...

Strawbridge's Wedding

Me and Jennifer (a co-worker of Stephen at his new accounting firm and my marvelous date to the wedding)


The bachelors after some soccer


Our rental ride - we roll in the H2


Elena's Mariachi Band


The Wedding Crashers - it didn't take long for these bachelors to move in on the bridesmaids