A Political Machine...

...That's what Bob Corker is. And by default, that's what our good buddy Brad Smith is. You can check him (Corker and Co.) out in what the New York Times is labeling "the most captivating Senate race in the nation" in part because the "Senate race here packs historic potential."

Of course, the one big reason the NYT likes this "historic" race is just that. Race. You can see it throughout the article, referring to Tennessee as the "former Confederate" state, and noting that Harold Ford could be the first black Senator from TN since Reconstruction. They even put in a plug for our former president, Bill Clinton, subtly playing the race card by calling Clinton a "bad white boy" (bad as in good, bad white boy as in "that brother might as well be a brutha"). And, through guilt by association, they carictature Corker supporters as quasi-racist - one Corker man named Eddie Murphy reportedly distinguishes himself from the REAL Murphy by saying that he has "no color, no money."

You know what? Whatever, man. If that's what the NYT wants to approach this thing, then fine. Apparently they are incapable of moving on in history, and will keeping ringing the race bell as long as it serves their purposes. To label TN as a former Confederate state, while a true statement, is ultimately misleading becaus it invokes a closer sense of proximity to the present than is really accurate - that's like referring to the US as a former British colony.

Plus, I don't understand the "first black Senator from TN since reconstruction." As far as I can tell, he'd be the first black senator from Tennessee EVER. The reference to reconstruction seems meaningless other than a little jab to remind people that, oh by the way, back in the 19th century TN had to be Reconstructed in order to let blacks even vote. Oh yeah, did I mention Bob Corker's white?

And apparently they forget that Ford has already been a Congressman for something like 6 years. Do you think the people of TN really draw a strict line between Congress and the Senate, where they are progressive in one election but hopelessly stuck in their ante-bellum past in the other election? "Come On!" (see Gob, Arrested Development)

But I digress. My point was not to critize the NYT - they just make it so easy - but to point out the incredible experience ol Brad is getting. This is prime time, baby, and Brad's right in the thick of it.

So, go Brad. Hopefully, you can actually sleep and talk to your friends again once all this over tomorrow.


(look, Brad's in teh background)

Neyland Stadium

Neyland Stadium:
105,000 seats.
18,000 teeth.

(seen on a sign on a Cockaboose tonight)

Vote Yes (or no, depending on what you're voting for)

Some of you may remember that campaign oh so many years ago, when a little 17 year old from Chapin nicknamed Flex shocked the TeenPact world with his successful bid for the Lt. Governor seat. The campaign catchphrase still rings true to many:

"Flex for your Lt. Governor."

Or, you may remember how that same kid went on to become Student Body President of Covenant College, suprising everyone (including himself) with the 11th Hour upset of the incumbent senator, thanks in part to his ingenious use of stuffed Chick-fil-A cows and a campaign skit that will forever be remembered (at least by me) in Covenant history.

"Who doesn't want a Sleuth for President?"

Well, back in the beginning of September, I again put on my politician's suit and attempted to run for a Representative position on the Student Bar Association. I lost. But not without winning major points with many of my classmates and numerous upperclassmen.

You see, the common element in all of my campaigns is humor. Everybody loves to laugh. You remember a good joke. And usually, you remember the person who told it. Mission accomplished.

So in keeping with the spirit of the upcoming elections, I've decided to post some of my better campaign flyers. Feel free to VOTE for your favorite.

(click on the picture to view it in a new window)

Halloween Hullabaloo

A word of wisdom to all you Tricker-Treaters before you embark on this evening's festivities, from the gerMan whose Reformation Day makes Halloween look like nothing more than, well, childish games and candy:

"Germany would be much richer than she is, if such store of velvets and silks were not worn, nor so much spice used, or so much beer drunk. But young fellows without their liquor have no mirth at all; gaming makes not merry, nor lasciviousness, so they apply themselves to drinking. At the princely jollification lately held at Torgau, each man drank, at one draught, a whole bottle of wine; this they called a good drink. Tacitus wrote, that by the ancient Germans it was held no shame at all to drink and swill four and twenty hours together. A gentleman of the court asked: How long ago it was since Tacitus wrote this? He was answered, about fifteen hundred years. Whereupon the gentleman said: Forasmuch as drunkenness has been so ancient a custom, and of such a long descent, let us not abolish it." - Martin Luther, King of Hops (no joke, true nickname)

Sooo, better to have beer than money?

Go Protestants.



Nota bene: speaking of Protestants and their booze, check this out: http://www.calvinus.ch/

If you could ask the Chief Justice one question, what would it be?

A fun query for many of us, we often ask ourselves what question we would pose to different individuals, given the chance. Usually, we wonder about high profile individuals, often they are people unique to our situations/context. For instance, the theologian might quizz Calvin or Luther, while the business man might question Rockefeller or Henry Ford. Most Americans would probably want to interrogate President Bush, or God.

For the lawyer, aspiring or practicing, the one person to whom we'd love to posit a question is the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court, to wit, the highest ranking judicial officer in the entire world.

I wonder what I'd ask him? Actually, I KNOW what I'd ask him. Because I already did.

Yes, our beloved Chief Justice John Roberts came to the USC law school yesterday to preside over the final hearing of our student Moot Court Bar Competition. He wasn't alone;there were plenty of secret service agents that were walking around in the library while I was trying to study yesterday morning, and the panel of guest judges also included:
The Hon. Jean H. Toal, chief justice, Supreme Court of South Carolina;
The Hon. William W. Wilkins, chief judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit;
The Hon. Kaye G. Hearn, chief judge, South Carolina Court of Appeals; and
The Hon. Joseph F. Anderson Jr., chief judge, U.S. District Court for the District of South Carolina.

So, to take advantage of the once in a lifetime opportunity to stare eye to eye and dialogue with the king of stare decisis, I had to ask the Justice a question. And, being the good the 'ol Carolina boy that I am, it had to include football.

"Do y'all tailgate at Redskins games?"

Actually, it was a little more intelligent than that. And the heart of my question was a genuine curiosity as to what life for a justice is like behind the closed doors of the Supreme Court. It was a good question. Clear. Concise. Sincere. It wasn't one of those let-me-show-you-how-much-I-know-by-pretending-this-is-a-question questions. And on two occasions, my query made the Chief Justice (and the rest of our packed out auditorium) burst into laughter. Top that, Jay Sekulow.

"Could you talk about the relationships between the justices outside the conference room and your discussions of different cases before the Court? I know that here at the USC law school, one of the biggest skills we are learning is the ability to argue and disagree with your classmates in class, but still be able to go out with them for happy hour afterwards. So I'm curious what the camaraderie is like between the justices, even when you may disagree on certain issues. I mean, do y'all tailgate at Redskins games on the weekend?"

Roberts laughed, told us that he was in fact a Bears fan, and then gave a serious response to my mostly serious question.

And that was it. I talked to John Roberts. He talked back. Probably the coolest thing I've done in a while. I love law school.

So be ready, in case YOU ever get the chance to ask that one person that one question that you've always wanted the answer to.
I know what mine is: "What'd you think of my first question?"

Can I get an Amen!?

It's high time the AP recognized the mad, perilous life of a goalkeeper.

Law School Life Imitates The Office (BBC)

"In my public presentation of this illustration at the University of Notre Dame in 2005, I used the Star Trek character of Spock rather than Sarek in my example. It was, however, pointed out by the moderator, Gerard V. Bradley (Professor, Notre Dame Law School), that the character of Spock is half-human, and thus my illustration was not quite to the point. So, that is why I employ the character of Sarek, Spock’s full-Vulcan father, in the published version. Special thanks to the logical Professor Bradley for correcting me on this matter. May he live long and prosper."

- Francis Beckwith, Legal Professor at Baylor University, who in his lecture today (which I attended) on Roe v. Wade used the Vulcan illustration when discussing characteristics of personhood versus human being.



"Oh, let's not rake up old graves. I don't wanna talk about whether Spock was a human or Vulcan or vice versa."

- David Brent, on discussing the last time Gareth was Quiz Master, where controversies over Quiz Mastering nearly cost The Dead Parrots their win. David relives the fateful evening in which Gareth had the incorrect answer to the question "What type of alien is Mr. Spock?" Spock is not a full Vulcan as Gareth claimed, but half-Vulcan and half-human. To that Gareth says now what he said then, "Look at his ears." Apparently, David was so convinced of his answer that he rented a cab to go home and get some Star Trek literature to prove his point.

Slippery is one proud Cock

I have a good friend here at home who is one of the pastors at First Baptist Church of the booming metropolis of Chapin. We have reconnected since my return to the Promised Land, and have had a good time re-establishing our friendship. Not to generalize, but if there are a few key things that my friend knows about me, it's that I am a diehard Carolina Gamecock, and that my friends now call me Slippery.

To generalize in return, my pastor friend is a huge Clemson fan (yet still a Christian - I've yet to reconcile that one), and a notorious prankster.

Which explains my surpise, and yet not suprise, when I drove by his church the other day (just up the road from our house) to see the below message on the church marquee:



I'm working on a response. Any help is appreciated.

Monday's with Murray: Fine Art

Picture used by permission from the Uffizi Gallery of Florence, Italy. Special thanks to Jamey for finding this.

That Close.

Nota bene: We were pissed after the game. Most of you can probably imagine (Macey used to cheer against USC in the big games, just cuz he knew we'd go buy a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 2 liter of Coke if we lost). A couple of our fellow law students attempted to console us with things like "At least you didn't get blown out" or "If my team had been that close to the #2 ranked team I'd be dang happy."

That's a load of crock in our book. So was the applause that the students and fans gave the team after the game was over.

There are no such things as "moral victories" in college football - either you win or you don't. A few UF graduates now USC law students heard us and commented that we sounded like Florida fans with our high expectations. Maybe so. If expecting to win each game and being ticked when we don't (especially when we could have) is a Gator trait, then maybe we're at the wrong school. But we don't think we are. And neither does Spurrier, according to this morning's paper: "Cheers ring hollow: Spurrier says fans need to raise their expectations; team does not deserve an ovation after a loss, no matter how close the outcome"

Right to Privacy?

Southern patriotism at its finest

Last night at the halftime of the Carolina game, USC and The Mighty Sound of the Southeast (Carolina marching band) had a halftime program to honor the past and present troops serving our country in the armed forces. Patriotic medleys, flags, veterans, troops in uniforms, balloons, etc. - it was quite the spectacle.

Being the good ol' Bible belt school that we are, the crowd sang God Bless America, and then were led in a prayer for our soldiers, followed by a long moment of silence as a the band played taps in honor of those soldiers who have given their lives for our freedom.

If having 80,000 people remain silent for an extended period of time is impressive, what was more impressive was what one loyal student yelled out to break the silence:

"God bless America!"

Silence.

"And F--k Osama bin Laden and those Afghannis!!"

Silence.

"Support your troops, b---ches!"

Consfused(?) silence.

"Go Cocks!"

The student section erupts in applause.

If only our student section at Covenant had been this colorful.

Oil Slick

This evening gas was down to $2.08.

Later tonight we purchased gas for $1.99/gallon.

Shortly thereafter we passed another gas station where it was $1.08.

At this rate, by morning we should be back down to a 1-1 dollar-gallon correlation.

OPEC is probably sleepless with concern.

Legal Services for Hire

Dear Murray,

I am advised that you may be in need of an attorney's professional services. May I be so bold as to recommend myself? While your past legal problems may be unsolvable at present, I am of the opinion that I can offer you legal confidence in your future endeavors, and as a result, peace of mind.

As proof, let me suggest what could have been a possible remedy for a situation you recently encountered, in hopes that my analysis of that prior problem will assure you of my future expertise. As you are aware, on or about August 12, 2006, you placed a bet with one Jamey P., wherein you agreed to pay him $100 if he could swim across the intracostal canal and back. He did. In his suit pants, I might add. This put you in the hole 100 bucks.(1) In hind sight, you recognized this to be a bad decision.(2)

For $25 I could have saved you $100.(3) Had I been your corporate counsel, I would have given you the following advice: Rather than placing a bet with Jamey, you should have entered into an oral contract. Oral contracts can be binding, and most folks (Jamey included) are more comfortable with the legality of "contracts" as opposed to friendly wagers. However, the terms of your agreement with Jamey would have classifed your agreement as a unilateral contract (rather than a bilateral contract). This is good for you. In a bilateral contract, parties exchange promises of performance to take place in the future. Such contracts are generally enforceable when consideration is present.

Unilateral contracts, on the other hand, exist when the offeror (in this case you) offers to exchange his promise of a future performance only in return for the offeree's (Jamey) actual rendering of performance, e.g. "I will give you $100 if you swim across the canal and back." You do not want Jamey's PROMISE to swim the canal, you want the ACT of swimming the canal.

What's this got to do with the price of tea in China? In contract law, a contract is not enforceable until there has been an offer, acceptance, and some sort of consideration between the parties, which, in unilateral contracts, such consideration and acceptance is bound up together in the rendering of the desired performance. And, because the "offeror is the master of the offer," until an offer is accepted the offeror retains the right to revoke the contract at any time. Thus, as classical theory of contracts would suggest, until Jamey has swam the entire canal, you are not bound to pay Jamey, because no contract actually arises until the completion of the act called for.

With the bet, once Jamey jumped in the water, most people (Jamey especially) expected you to pay. With a unilateral contract, once Jamey had swum across the canal and was headed back, you still retained the right to withdraw your offer, at which point "all bets are off." Despite Jamey's objections that this is a bit hard on him, classic contract theory suggests that "hard" cases should not make bad law.(4) Jamey was not bound to swim the canal, and if he is will-free, shouldn't you be will-free as well? So despite your propensity for brash betting and impulsive gambling, a unilateral contract would have given you time to pause, consider the consequences, and recant, regardless of where Jamey and his suit pants were currently swimming.

As for your terrible golf game, you may wish to seek professional counsel elsewhere.

I hope to be of service, and I look forward to working with you in the future.

Sincerely,

The Sleuth



(1) Murray subsequently attempted to win this money back with a series of smaller bets, the majority of which centered around golf, compounded by "double or nothing" bets. He lost all of them.

(2) As taken from Murray's Myspace "Blurb": "I recently lost one of my wallets. Word of advice: don't play golf when you have work to do. 2nd word of advice: don't bet money when you can just dare. 3rd word of advice: don't bet money on your golf game. 4th word of advice: don't do any of that when you are missing your wallet."

(3) $25 initial consultation fee based on average costs for similar legal counsel. Prices may vary, see office for details.

(4) Jamey may also raise issues of limitations on untrammelled revocability, but he wouldn't know what the heck that is anyway.

Vatican Sleuth

The recent Muslim reactions to the Pope's comments last week have me thinking again about this religion known as Islam. I still stand by my previous thoughts during the whole Muhammed cartoon kerfuffle, that Islam by it's very nature is a religion of violence and agression.

To be sure, the Pope's comments may have been ambiguous as to whether he was stating personal opinion, vatican views or just quoting medieval leaders. "‘Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

Regardless, it is again the Muslim reaction that is more telling. And, as my now beloved James Taranto suggests, if the Pope (and myself) was wrong in suggesting that Islam is violent, perhaps torching churches and threatening war against "worshippers of the cross" is not the best way to make your point.

Or maybe it's my point (and the Pope's/medieval dude's) that's being made.

Sleuth is a Wall Street Journal contributor

The Wall Street Journal publishes a daily "best of the web" segment on their website, a humorous look at the important (and sometimes not so important though highly publicized) news items of each day. It's compiled by James Taranto, the WSJ's inhouse blogger and an occasional guest on Fox News.

After our "oily concerns" blog post on Monday, we got to thinking and decided to email James Taranto and see what he thought about our journalistic sleuthing.

Apparently, he liked it a lot. Or enough to include it in today's Wall Street Journal installment

The text below is his rendition of our "Oily Concerns" post.


Hard to Please
Here's an amusing series of news headlines about the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. Dollar figures in parentheses are the price of a barrel of crude at the time of the article:

"OPEC Secretary-General Expresses Concern Over Rising Oil Prices"--May 16, 2004 ($40.77)

"OPEC Says It's Lost Control of Oil Prices"--March 14, 2005 ("north of $50 a barrel and rising")

"OPEC President Voices Concerns Over Rising Prices"--Aug. 28, 2005 ($66.13)

"Falling Oil Prices Add to Opec's Worries"--Sept. 12, 2006 ($63.76)
OK, we can reconcile the last two headlines and conclude that the optimal price of oil is somewhere between $63.77 and $66.12. But how can $63.76 be too low while $40.77 is too high? It's Goldilocks in Bizarro World!


Lest you doubt us, the bottom of every Best of the Web includes his thanks to the contributors:

"Thanks to John Krickus, Ed Lasky, Fritz Sands, [Sleuth]..."

Oily concerns

"OPEC Secretary-General Expresses Concern Over Rising Oil Prices," By Tim Johnston, VOA News. May 16, 2004
(oil was $40.77 a barrel at this time)

"OPEC says it's lost control of oil prices," by MSNBC.com & Rueters. 14 Mar 2005.
(oil was $50+ a barrel at this time)

"OPEC president voices concerns over rising prices," USA Today (Associated Press), August 28, 2005.
(oil was $66.13 a barrel at this time)

"OPEC concerned over falling oil prices," Financial Times. September 10 2006
(oil is at $67 a barrel, down from $77 a barrel a few weeks prior)

"OPEC stands for "Omigosh, Please Express Concern," Manville Times. September 11, 2006

Which is why I suggest you all try this (not so new) product:

The Master Card (my student ID)

A semester's tuition at the University of South Carolina Law School = $7,992


Books for my first 5 classes in law school = $650


Amount of money on my Carolina Card for lunch this fall = $425


Spending a weekend evening at home with 80,000 of my closest friends = Priceless


There are some things money can't buy, but if you think about it, even getting a "free" student ticket to the footbal game cost me a pretty penny. So I will enjoy every last cent of it.

Go Cocks.

Pronounced "Chay-Pin"

Today we rejoined an annual tradition from which we have been absent for several years - the Chapin Labor Day Parade. Everybody who's anybody is there. Including all of our extended family. Seriously, where else can you get a year's supply of candy in under 2 hours?

As you probably know, the Labor Day holiday was first celebrated in the late 1800s as an occasion to salute the working class and hold a parade. In Chapin, we take that time honored tradition to heart. Especially the parade part.

And, as The State newspaper suggests, being in the Chapin Labor Day parade won’t guarantee you a political victory in South Carolina, but history proves it definitely doesn’t hurt. Past political parade participants include former U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond (he rarely missed this parade), President George W. Bush, U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham, U.S. Rep. Joe Wilson, Gov. Mark Sanford, and former Govs. Jim Hodges, David Beasley and Carroll Campbell.

Today's parade did not disappoint. As of the 2000 census, the Town Limits of Chapin contain a population of 624. Today's parade had over 10,000 spectators. And what a show they saw. Being an election year, the parade brought out everybody from county council and school board members to Represenatives, Senators, Congressman, and the Governor. We had floats from our Dixie Youth Baseball Allstars to the Chapin Baptist Children's Ministry, from the local BBQ joints to BiLo grocery, from the CHS marching band to the local cloggers.

We had the perennial crowd favorite Jamil Temple riders on their little gocarts doing figure eights like no 75 year old you've ever seen before...


We had the local square dancers club...


...and the parade regular firefighters, whose truck broke down and had to get pushed a few hundred yards before they jumped it off again. A vote of confidence for my homeowner's fire insurance...


We even had a float with some cows on it.


Sorry, that was actually a picture of a new addition to the parade this year, Chapin's fine "Desert Jewels". Apparently they are a local belly dancing club/organization, which, as my uncle noted, makes perfect sense, seeing as all the women had a lot of belly to dance with. Apparently they'd been hanging out too much on the Hardee's float in front of them. Shleigh, Paige and Tricia, with those belly dancing videos you had in college you may have a spot in next year's parade lineup.

Here's the cow.


All said it was a great use of our morning. If you ever wanna see some $100,000 tractors, or a host of utility trailers turned floats, the Labor Day parade is the place for you. If its got wheels or moves, we've got a spot for you. There were even several seniors on their electric wheelchairs (though whether they were official parade entrants is debatable).

Chapin: Capital of Lake Murray. Ya'll come visit now, hear?

TGIF

Life is good.

Our Gamecocks managed to grab a win last night and are now undefeated in SEC play (at least for a week), and we got called on in Workhard Burkhard's class this morning to answer a question no one could seem to get - and we nailed it. So much so that he asked us to repeat our explanation because it was an important distinction for the class to understand.

Also, no school on Monday. A clap offering for schools who recognize holidays other than Christmas and Thanksgiving.