Perhaps it is the sweltering heat of the Florida summer that makes a cold drink look so refreshing ("I was hot, it was cold" - Krazy Karl). Maybe it's because hurricane season is nearly upon us, and the scary realization that some folks will not have their roofs repaired before the next storm comes through is more than they can bear. Or it could be that in a world where 1/5 the population is retired (i.e. does not work), the rule that 5 o'clock is the first hour of the day in which you can grab a beer is no longer in effect.
Whatever the reason, I have begun to run into an increasing number of drunk people on the job. Thankfully, I haven't caught our crews drinking on top of a roof (though I have heard of other companies whose salesman went on a customers roof and had a drink), although I have been tempted to brink a 6 pack of Coronas to Lupe, Victor and the boys as a thanks for the hard work they do.
No, the intoxicated folks I have encountered have been potential customers. Given my experiences, I now have determined at least 3 ways to gently handle drunk customers and still make the sale.
3. Stare directly at the drunkard. This was the approach I took when meeting with a customer at Panera bread. Actually, this guy wants to partner with MPC to do "literally hundreds of jobs in the next few months." This guy claims to have the network connections, and has created a contracting company and sold jobs under its name - all without a license. Whatever his story, when I sat down at Panera and realized he was already under the table, all I could do was stare directly at the guy as he spit out his story in slow, slurred, incoherent phrases.
Lesson learned - Panera's in south Florida do not sell sweet tea, but apparently they sell something even stronger to drink.
2. Ignore the drunkard and get straight to the paperwork. Earlier this week I swung by a house for a call back, where the folks I had previously met with decided to sign with us and needed the paperwork to get started. A man in his lat 20's answered the door, the son who still lives at home who to date has failed to launch.
"My parents are in the back, hold on a sec," he said.
I waited. I heard a door open around the corner and down the hallway. Rita emerged first, looking somewhat flustered, and in her very strong New York accent began to apologize and make excuses for not getting to the door right away. I was confused, but said nothing.
"My husband and i were in the back room looking a different paint colors. I guess the door closed without us knowing. We kind of got carried away back there and then we really got in to it," Rita informed me.
"In to the paint colors," her son clarified.
"Yes, Yes the paint colors," Rita said excitedly. She kept fluffing her hair and fanning herself.
Ed then emerged from the back room, his shirt off, a beer in his hands, and adjusting his shorts. At that point I wanted to run away. Instead, I opened my folder and began to pull out the papers to be signed. Ed went to shake my hand but missed. He then asked me to follow him upstairs where he could point out a few additional water spots that needed to be corrected. He slapped Rita on the butt as we walked by.
I tried to take Ed seriously as he discussed the different work that needed to be done, but he was drunk and kept repeating himself, and he concluded the tour with "J, you're a roofer. Do what you do. And I'll do what I do."
Lesson learned: At least in my mind, the famous Mr. Ed is no longer a talking horse.
1. If you can't beat the drunkards, join em. After measuring one house, I found the homeowner in teh back yard by his pool, knocking em back with his elderly father. These guys were actually not drunk, yet, so when they offered for me to grab a beer and join em, I figured what the heck. It was 5 o'clock there, and probably somewhere else too, so i wasn't too worried. Plus, if you join em early enough, neither of you will remember if they ever actually got drunk.
Lesson learned: Always join the homeowner for drinks after having measured the roof, not before. Alcohol and steep slopes do not go well together.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
World Cup Watch, Part 3
A few of the folks who sit and talk regularly at the Manville Table have requested that I continue to highlight football players and teams in order to educate the not so soccer savvy public prior to the start of the World Cup. I aim to please.
So, class is in session.
Petr Cech. Goalkeeper for the Czech Republic, who are currently ranked 2nd in the world by FIFA. Cech plays professionally for Chelsea, a very talented and well financed English club who are basically like the New York Yankees of English soccer.
I choose to highlight Cech for several reasons.
1. He is a goalkeeper (just like me)
2. He is one of the best in the world, if not THE best (just like me). He was voted footballer of the year for the Czech Republic.
3. He plays for the Czech Republic, against whom the USA will play its first World Cup match on June 12.
4. His last name is the same as his country (pronounced Peter Check). If I were as cool as he, I would play keeper for the US national team and change my name to Jasn America. Or Slippry United States.
5. According to ESPN’s soccer website, Petr Cech weighs 13.2. I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds pretty dang cool.
As for the game against the Czech’s, this will be a huge gauge of how good our US men’s team really is and how we will fare in this World Cup; if we can manage a draw or even a squeack out a win against the Czech Republic, we stand a good chance of making it out of Group E and into the bracket round of the tournament. An interesting match up to watch will be Czech’s Jiri Stajner, a forward, who could line up against the USA’s Steve Cherundolo, a defender. Both Cherundolo and Stajner play together professionally for the German club Hanover.
One final parcel of food for thought. Many people think the US has finally arrived in the soccer world. We’re currently ranked 5th, though we often play like we’re ranked 50th (see USA v. Morocco), but we are looking to build on our strong quarterfinal performance in the 2002 World Cup. On the other hand, the Czech republic is ranked 2nd in the World. The Czech Republic currently has a population of approximately 10.2 million. Going back to my earlier New York analogy, the metropolitan area of New York City boasts approximately 21.9 million people, which is twice as much as the entire country of the Czech Republic (for you people from the Blue States). Not that quantity ever necessitates quality, but it would seem our talent pool, resources, financial support etc. might be a little bit bigger? So marinate on that for a while.
So, class is in session.
Petr Cech. Goalkeeper for the Czech Republic, who are currently ranked 2nd in the world by FIFA. Cech plays professionally for Chelsea, a very talented and well financed English club who are basically like the New York Yankees of English soccer.
I choose to highlight Cech for several reasons.
1. He is a goalkeeper (just like me)
2. He is one of the best in the world, if not THE best (just like me). He was voted footballer of the year for the Czech Republic.
3. He plays for the Czech Republic, against whom the USA will play its first World Cup match on June 12.
4. His last name is the same as his country (pronounced Peter Check). If I were as cool as he, I would play keeper for the US national team and change my name to Jasn America. Or Slippry United States.
5. According to ESPN’s soccer website, Petr Cech weighs 13.2. I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds pretty dang cool.
As for the game against the Czech’s, this will be a huge gauge of how good our US men’s team really is and how we will fare in this World Cup; if we can manage a draw or even a squeack out a win against the Czech Republic, we stand a good chance of making it out of Group E and into the bracket round of the tournament. An interesting match up to watch will be Czech’s Jiri Stajner, a forward, who could line up against the USA’s Steve Cherundolo, a defender. Both Cherundolo and Stajner play together professionally for the German club Hanover.
One final parcel of food for thought. Many people think the US has finally arrived in the soccer world. We’re currently ranked 5th, though we often play like we’re ranked 50th (see USA v. Morocco), but we are looking to build on our strong quarterfinal performance in the 2002 World Cup. On the other hand, the Czech republic is ranked 2nd in the World. The Czech Republic currently has a population of approximately 10.2 million. Going back to my earlier New York analogy, the metropolitan area of New York City boasts approximately 21.9 million people, which is twice as much as the entire country of the Czech Republic (for you people from the Blue States). Not that quantity ever necessitates quality, but it would seem our talent pool, resources, financial support etc. might be a little bit bigger? So marinate on that for a while.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday's Mith Wurray
Check out this nifty trick. Several of you have wondered what happened to this week's Monday's with Murray. Well, we missed it. But we found out that our computer has a "take the first letter of every word and flip it upside down to maintain a cool title for blog posts" button, which we just used. Granted, Wednesday's With Wurray would have made for a better illiteration, but the button doesn't understand that - it just does what it's programmed to do.
So, sorry for any trouble it has caused those of you for whom Monday's with Murray is a cyber shot of inspiration.
So, sorry for any trouble it has caused those of you for whom Monday's with Murray is a cyber shot of inspiration.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Who I'd most like to be when I grow up (currently)
They say he could be the man that will lead England to a successful World Cup run, much as he has captained his own Liverpool to their Champions League Championship last year and their recent FA Cup victory (which is the most recent source of my admiration). If you haven't seen or read the highlights of either of those games, you have not lived. He was brilliant in both, with two 35+ yard goals (or "absolute howitzers" as we like to call them) in the FA Cup, the second which came seconds from time and sent the game into overtime.
Pele says he is one of the best he's seen.
He's been a part of only one club, Liverpool, his hometown team for whom he has played since he was 9 years old (a loyalty that is rare these days of million dollar/pound contracts).
And his fiance looks like a Swedish Paris Hilton.
All good reasons why I'd like to be Steven Gerrard when I grow up. And by grow up, I mean when I turn 26 in August, because that's how old Gerrard is (as of a few days ago).
Friday, May 19, 2006
South Florida Soccer fans, a microcosm of American sports enthusiasts?
From The History of Soccer: The Beautiful Game, which Brien and I have been attempting to watch for the past few weeks (999 minutes is a lot of soccer). Perhaps this explains the lack of interest in the World's sport on the part of Floridians (and Americans):
"Americans have great difficulty understanding the attraction of soccer because American games can be segmented into individaul acation and individual statistics. Soccer has continual fluid action. American games are fairly high scoring, and nothing to nothing games are something you cannot sell in America." - Henry Kissinger
"They didn't undstand it. I mean I don't undstand baseball or basketball. The Americans were the same. They didn't undstand the offside law. They didn't understand most of the stuff they were watching. The only time they made noise was when there was a goal. That's as much as they knew about football." - George Best on the now defunct North American Soccer League.
"Americans have great difficulty understanding the attraction of soccer because American games can be segmented into individaul acation and individual statistics. Soccer has continual fluid action. American games are fairly high scoring, and nothing to nothing games are something you cannot sell in America." - Henry Kissinger
"They didn't undstand it. I mean I don't undstand baseball or basketball. The Americans were the same. They didn't undstand the offside law. They didn't understand most of the stuff they were watching. The only time they made noise was when there was a goal. That's as much as they knew about football." - George Best on the now defunct North American Soccer League.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
South Florida Soccer fans, where are you?
In true Manville fashion I attempted to throw a Champions League Final party last night. Like years past, I invited everyone I knew (which is a substantially smaller crowd down here) to come to the house and watch the game, which I taped yesterday afternoon. It was BYOB, with an imposed alcohol limitation that required the beer you brought to be brewed in the country from which your team hailed (i.e. England or Spain) or the Champions League sponsor (let's hear it for Heineken as the new sponsor over last year's Amstel Light). I even made my world famous salsa.
We had 5 people, Brien, Jamey and myself included. Apparently soccer does not have the same appeal as in Chattanooga or Columbia. I can't even begin to count the number of weeknight games I watched with Noel, Elissa, Macey, Strawbridge and a host of others last year. Or the multiple nights I hosted slumber parties with jr. high and high school guys from our youth group so we could watch the World Cup games live in 2002. I had planned numerous World Cup 2006 parties here in the next month - we'll see how that goes.
Despite the fact that my team lost (hint hint I brought Newcastle), it was a good game, even with the early departure of Lehman and the equalizer from Barcelona that was questionably ruled onside. The defenses were impressive, and the superstars Henry and Ronaldinho were essentially shut down. Brien and I have decided that Ronaldinho is a brilliant footballer, but way too much of a showboat.
And watching him play again only further confirmed the fact that he looks like a horse. I believe I saw Ronaldinho canter at one point. How appropriate the ubiquitous pony tail.
We had 5 people, Brien, Jamey and myself included. Apparently soccer does not have the same appeal as in Chattanooga or Columbia. I can't even begin to count the number of weeknight games I watched with Noel, Elissa, Macey, Strawbridge and a host of others last year. Or the multiple nights I hosted slumber parties with jr. high and high school guys from our youth group so we could watch the World Cup games live in 2002. I had planned numerous World Cup 2006 parties here in the next month - we'll see how that goes.
Despite the fact that my team lost (hint hint I brought Newcastle), it was a good game, even with the early departure of Lehman and the equalizer from Barcelona that was questionably ruled onside. The defenses were impressive, and the superstars Henry and Ronaldinho were essentially shut down. Brien and I have decided that Ronaldinho is a brilliant footballer, but way too much of a showboat.
And watching him play again only further confirmed the fact that he looks like a horse. I believe I saw Ronaldinho canter at one point. How appropriate the ubiquitous pony tail.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
We'd like to buy a vowel (or a moment of silence)
Last Thursday we flew from Birmingham to Orlando on Southwest, proud of ourselves for having found a ticket for under $100 that happened to fly from Bham (where we were visiting Caldwell and Co.) to Orlando (where our family was vacationing). As we waited to board the plane, we glanced around at the folks in the terminal and made mental notes of which people we wouldn't mind chatting with for the next 2 hours and which people we would definitely avoid buckling up with. Southwest has an open seating policy, first come first serve, so by the time we boarded the plane the only seats remaining were in the back, right next to several people that we had just minutes before noted we should NOT sit next to. Mission failed.
Our seat partners for the trip were two young girls, Mary Jane (as we'll call her - not her real name) who was 9 and her sister (who's name escapes me - we'll call her Delilah) who was 7. They had very strong southern accents. Their mother sat in the row in front of us. The rest of their group were three rows in front of us. We had seen their group in the terminal - they were a bunch of frantic mothers who could not keep up with their kids, very talkative and had never learned the meaning of "inside voices" (which in turn their children had failed to learn as well).
Shortly after take off, we heard Mary Jane's mother asking the people around her why they were flying to Orlando. The businessman next to her seemed as perturbed as we were, so we popped in our Ipod earphones and didn't wait to hear the answer. The inflight drinks arrived minutes later, however, and we were forced to shut off the Ipod for a few seconds. That was all Mary Jane needed. Sounding just like her mother, she asked us why we were going to Orlando. We explained. No sooner had we finished than Mary Jane began to tell us why THEY were going to Orlando, which we realized was the point of her question all along.
Turns out her mom had been on Wheel of Fortune a few weeks before, and had won a significant amount of money, along with a trip to Disney World. Mary Jane's sister leaned over and informed us that it was $16,500 that her mother had won, and that Vanna White is very pretty. Delilah didn't talk much, we discovered, but when she did it was always worth hearing. Mary Jane continued - her mom had made it all the way to the bonus round, but the word was a hobby that her mother had never heard of, so she failed to get the bonus cash. "Plus the only letter they gave her was G." We're curious what the hobby was.
Teasing, we told Mary Jane we didn't belive her. Mistake. In a flash she leaned over the seat in front of us, whispered something to her mom, and within seconds produced a newspaper clipping with a picture of her mother and a short paragraph detailing her recent Wheel of Fortune win. The newspaper was the Chattanooga Times Free Press. Mary Jane's sister leaned forward - "She is in 4 other newspapers too, would you like to see those?" Apparently they were prepared for doubters like us.
We asked if they were from Birmingham. They were not. They were from Cookeville, TN. Ah, Cookeville. We had just driven through their a week before with our sister. Mary Jane was suprised.
"You've heard of Cookeville?"
"Yeah, but we just drove through it."
"So did you stop at Restaurant Row?"
We had never heard of restaurant row. We could only imagine what it was. Mary Jane didn't wait for us to guess. She began to list for us all of the restaurants that were located in Cookeville. The number of restaurants reached around 35, and we returned to our Ipod.
For the rest of the flight, ever 5 minutes or so Mary Jane would yank the earphone out of our right ear and tell us the 2 or 3 more restaurants she had remembered were on Restaurant Row. We think the final count totaled around 200. This was one heckuva long Row. Our favorite restaurant was Toots, where apparently you can dine in old Southwest airplane seats and if you order a pound of hot dogs and fries, your kids eat free. Mary Jane tried to explain how Toots had to change their name because of problems with Hooters, but we got lost in that story and we're fairly sure she was making it up anyway.
At this point Mary Jane's sister nudged her and said "You sure do talk a lot." We couldn't have agreed more.
The flight attendant passed by and asked the girls if they needed anything else, maybe some more Dr. Pepper? Delilah's eyes got huge, and she nodded, then turned to us and excitedly whispered "This place has free refills!!"
In front of us, we saw the girls' mom opening a Bible and showing the man next to her. We heard her explain that this was a special Bible because the words of Jesus were written in red. The man seemed interested, and asked how she knew those where actually the words of Jesus. "Because they are in red," she responded. Of course.
Mary Jane asked us if we flew much. We told her we had, and listed all of the countries we had visited. She was impressed, and told us that she too was a world traveler. In fact, her daddy was a preacher man, and he traveled all over the place and often took here with him. We asked her where a preacher man from Cookeville, TN traveled, and she said she had been all over the world to places like Memphis, Graceland, Gatlinburg and Dollywood. It was our turn to be impressed.
The plane landed. Mary Jane and her friends 3 rows up chattered back and forth about Disney World as we waited to deboard the plane. Most of the passengers looked annoyed, and Mary Jane's mom finally tried to quiet the girls down. Somwhere between the newspaper clipping and the red letter Bible, however, the businessman in front of us had seen the light, so he quickly responded to Mary Jane's mother and said "Ah hell, let the kids talk. None of the adults on this plane are talking because they don't have anything intelligent to say, but these kids are just excited because they're going to see Mickey."
As we left the plane, Mary Jane shouted to us that there was also a Baskin Robbins on Restuarant row, but she wasn't sure if that counted as a restaurant.
Make that 201 restaurants.
Our seat partners for the trip were two young girls, Mary Jane (as we'll call her - not her real name) who was 9 and her sister (who's name escapes me - we'll call her Delilah) who was 7. They had very strong southern accents. Their mother sat in the row in front of us. The rest of their group were three rows in front of us. We had seen their group in the terminal - they were a bunch of frantic mothers who could not keep up with their kids, very talkative and had never learned the meaning of "inside voices" (which in turn their children had failed to learn as well).
Shortly after take off, we heard Mary Jane's mother asking the people around her why they were flying to Orlando. The businessman next to her seemed as perturbed as we were, so we popped in our Ipod earphones and didn't wait to hear the answer. The inflight drinks arrived minutes later, however, and we were forced to shut off the Ipod for a few seconds. That was all Mary Jane needed. Sounding just like her mother, she asked us why we were going to Orlando. We explained. No sooner had we finished than Mary Jane began to tell us why THEY were going to Orlando, which we realized was the point of her question all along.
Turns out her mom had been on Wheel of Fortune a few weeks before, and had won a significant amount of money, along with a trip to Disney World. Mary Jane's sister leaned over and informed us that it was $16,500 that her mother had won, and that Vanna White is very pretty. Delilah didn't talk much, we discovered, but when she did it was always worth hearing. Mary Jane continued - her mom had made it all the way to the bonus round, but the word was a hobby that her mother had never heard of, so she failed to get the bonus cash. "Plus the only letter they gave her was G." We're curious what the hobby was.
Teasing, we told Mary Jane we didn't belive her. Mistake. In a flash she leaned over the seat in front of us, whispered something to her mom, and within seconds produced a newspaper clipping with a picture of her mother and a short paragraph detailing her recent Wheel of Fortune win. The newspaper was the Chattanooga Times Free Press. Mary Jane's sister leaned forward - "She is in 4 other newspapers too, would you like to see those?" Apparently they were prepared for doubters like us.
We asked if they were from Birmingham. They were not. They were from Cookeville, TN. Ah, Cookeville. We had just driven through their a week before with our sister. Mary Jane was suprised.
"You've heard of Cookeville?"
"Yeah, but we just drove through it."
"So did you stop at Restaurant Row?"
We had never heard of restaurant row. We could only imagine what it was. Mary Jane didn't wait for us to guess. She began to list for us all of the restaurants that were located in Cookeville. The number of restaurants reached around 35, and we returned to our Ipod.
For the rest of the flight, ever 5 minutes or so Mary Jane would yank the earphone out of our right ear and tell us the 2 or 3 more restaurants she had remembered were on Restaurant Row. We think the final count totaled around 200. This was one heckuva long Row. Our favorite restaurant was Toots, where apparently you can dine in old Southwest airplane seats and if you order a pound of hot dogs and fries, your kids eat free. Mary Jane tried to explain how Toots had to change their name because of problems with Hooters, but we got lost in that story and we're fairly sure she was making it up anyway.
At this point Mary Jane's sister nudged her and said "You sure do talk a lot." We couldn't have agreed more.
The flight attendant passed by and asked the girls if they needed anything else, maybe some more Dr. Pepper? Delilah's eyes got huge, and she nodded, then turned to us and excitedly whispered "This place has free refills!!"
In front of us, we saw the girls' mom opening a Bible and showing the man next to her. We heard her explain that this was a special Bible because the words of Jesus were written in red. The man seemed interested, and asked how she knew those where actually the words of Jesus. "Because they are in red," she responded. Of course.
Mary Jane asked us if we flew much. We told her we had, and listed all of the countries we had visited. She was impressed, and told us that she too was a world traveler. In fact, her daddy was a preacher man, and he traveled all over the place and often took here with him. We asked her where a preacher man from Cookeville, TN traveled, and she said she had been all over the world to places like Memphis, Graceland, Gatlinburg and Dollywood. It was our turn to be impressed.
The plane landed. Mary Jane and her friends 3 rows up chattered back and forth about Disney World as we waited to deboard the plane. Most of the passengers looked annoyed, and Mary Jane's mom finally tried to quiet the girls down. Somwhere between the newspaper clipping and the red letter Bible, however, the businessman in front of us had seen the light, so he quickly responded to Mary Jane's mother and said "Ah hell, let the kids talk. None of the adults on this plane are talking because they don't have anything intelligent to say, but these kids are just excited because they're going to see Mickey."
As we left the plane, Mary Jane shouted to us that there was also a Baskin Robbins on Restuarant row, but she wasn't sure if that counted as a restaurant.
Make that 201 restaurants.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Monday's with Murray
I don't really have any great Murray moments, oral or pictoral, to share today, but I didn't want the picture of my tonsils (see below) to be the top entry on this blog.
However, on the tails of my "Season One of 24 all day marathon" in Birmingham with Caldwell, Shleigh and Cheney, I have decided that I would like to start a new phenomenon. Perhaps you are aware of the Chuck Norris Facts phenomenon that has been sweeping the country over the past year.
I would like to start the Jack Bauer Facts phenomenon.
My reasoning is as follows. Jack Bauer is the star of 24. Chuck Norris is the star of Walker Texas Ranger. 24 is the best evening drama I have ever watched. The writing and production of 24 far surpasses Walker Texas Ranger. Therefore, Jack Bauer far surpasses Chuck Norris.
Some of you may find this sacreligious. I don't care. Jack's got my back.
However, on the tails of my "Season One of 24 all day marathon" in Birmingham with Caldwell, Shleigh and Cheney, I have decided that I would like to start a new phenomenon. Perhaps you are aware of the Chuck Norris Facts phenomenon that has been sweeping the country over the past year.
I would like to start the Jack Bauer Facts phenomenon.
My reasoning is as follows. Jack Bauer is the star of 24. Chuck Norris is the star of Walker Texas Ranger. 24 is the best evening drama I have ever watched. The writing and production of 24 far surpasses Walker Texas Ranger. Therefore, Jack Bauer far surpasses Chuck Norris.
Some of you may find this sacreligious. I don't care. Jack's got my back.
You asked for it...
The readers of this blog have voted, and the decision is unanimous. Here are my tonsils. Please note, the white stuff on the back of the tonsils, as well as the size of the tonsils, is not normal.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Tonsilitis
We are currently in the midst of our week-plus vacation, during which we will see our sister and friends graduate from Covenant College, travel to Birmingham to spend a few days with some of the SB06 crowd at Caldwell's house, fly to Orlando to visit our family, and help coach our Surge team in a baseball tournament in Cocoa Beach, FL.
On Thursday of last week we began having a sore throat.
On Friday we began having a fever.
On Saturday the fever and sore throat were out in full force.
On Monday we went to the doctor because we feared death was imminent. He said we had tonsilitis. The antibiotics have finally kicked in, and we believe our body is on the mend.
Since this blog has become somewhat pictoral in nature, we are considering posting pictures of our tonsils. These pics are not for the weak of heart. Or stomach. Some of you may find this extremely, what's the word, gross, and so the question of whether we should post these graphic images is the subject of this week's MANVILLE TABLETALK POLL:
Should Sleuth post pictures of the inflamed, puss-covered tonsils on the blog?
Vote now.
On Thursday of last week we began having a sore throat.
On Friday we began having a fever.
On Saturday the fever and sore throat were out in full force.
On Monday we went to the doctor because we feared death was imminent. He said we had tonsilitis. The antibiotics have finally kicked in, and we believe our body is on the mend.
Since this blog has become somewhat pictoral in nature, we are considering posting pictures of our tonsils. These pics are not for the weak of heart. Or stomach. Some of you may find this extremely, what's the word, gross, and so the question of whether we should post these graphic images is the subject of this week's MANVILLE TABLETALK POLL:
Should Sleuth post pictures of the inflamed, puss-covered tonsils on the blog?
Vote now.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
You too
I once heard a comedian, I believe it was Brian Regan, do a stand up routine about how funny it is when we mindlessly use the phrase "you too" as a response to people every day. Sometimes it makes no sense, and yet out of habit we continue to use the phrase.
For instance, you tell the postman "have a good a good day" and he responds "you too." That's good usage.
Now consider: the waitress tells you to "enjoy your meal," and without thinking you reply "you too." What meal is she eating?
Or the guy in the toll booth tells you to "have a great stay in Florida" and you ignorantly reply "you too." He lives here!
Or the appliance man at Home Depot tells you "good luck with your new dishwasher" and you say "you too." Doubtful that he also has a recently purchased dishwasher.
Or the girl today in the pizza store. I was waiting in line for my lunch, observing the other customers and people watching (as I am want to do on occasion). The man in front of me, obviously in his late 40's, was currently flirting with the cute young cashier. He was telling her about his life in the corporate world, sadly attempting to flirt with the girl by simultaneously flaunting his acheivements while adoring her youth. She was eating it up.
As he walked out the front door, he looked over his shoulder and cast one longing look at the co-ed and teased, "have fun in college."
She flirted back. "You too."
For instance, you tell the postman "have a good a good day" and he responds "you too." That's good usage.
Now consider: the waitress tells you to "enjoy your meal," and without thinking you reply "you too." What meal is she eating?
Or the guy in the toll booth tells you to "have a great stay in Florida" and you ignorantly reply "you too." He lives here!
Or the appliance man at Home Depot tells you "good luck with your new dishwasher" and you say "you too." Doubtful that he also has a recently purchased dishwasher.
Or the girl today in the pizza store. I was waiting in line for my lunch, observing the other customers and people watching (as I am want to do on occasion). The man in front of me, obviously in his late 40's, was currently flirting with the cute young cashier. He was telling her about his life in the corporate world, sadly attempting to flirt with the girl by simultaneously flaunting his acheivements while adoring her youth. She was eating it up.
As he walked out the front door, he looked over his shoulder and cast one longing look at the co-ed and teased, "have fun in college."
She flirted back. "You too."
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Baseball is... (part 2)
...better than cow tipping?
How's this for the nadir of any team's season: Wofford (18-30) moved up the start of its Friday game against The Citadel to 5 p.m. so it wouldn't have to compete against a cow's bowel movements for local entertainment dollars.
Wofford's Moo-uau celebration divides up the school's football stadium into squares, which patrons purchase. Cash prizes are awarded based on which squares the cow marks.
"I don't know about that," Wofford senior Stephen Johnson told the Spartanburg (S.C.) Journal-Herald. "I've got to talk to someone about that. Cow bingo is more important than the baseball game? I don't know."
Baseball won in the end, as Wofford scored twice in the bottom of the ninth inning for a 5-4 win. Meanwhile, Lu Lu Belle the cow leapt a hedge and chain-link fence and no one was able to coax her back onto the field. Prizes were awarded by a random drawing.
How's this for the nadir of any team's season: Wofford (18-30) moved up the start of its Friday game against The Citadel to 5 p.m. so it wouldn't have to compete against a cow's bowel movements for local entertainment dollars.
Wofford's Moo-uau celebration divides up the school's football stadium into squares, which patrons purchase. Cash prizes are awarded based on which squares the cow marks.
"I don't know about that," Wofford senior Stephen Johnson told the Spartanburg (S.C.) Journal-Herald. "I've got to talk to someone about that. Cow bingo is more important than the baseball game? I don't know."
Baseball won in the end, as Wofford scored twice in the bottom of the ninth inning for a 5-4 win. Meanwhile, Lu Lu Belle the cow leapt a hedge and chain-link fence and no one was able to coax her back onto the field. Prizes were awarded by a random drawing.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Baseball is...
Baseball is grass, chalk, and dirt displayed the same yet differently
In every park that has ever heard the words play ball.
Baseball is a passion that bonds and divides all those who know it.
Baseball is a pair of hands stained with newsprint,
A set of eyes squinting to read a boxscore,
A brow creased in an attempt to recreate a three-hour game
From an inch square block of type.
Baseball is the hat I wear to mow the lawn.
Baseball is a simple game of catch
and the never-ending search for the perfect knuckleball.
Baseball is Willie vs Mickey, Gibson vs Koufax, and Buddy Biancalana vs the odds.
Baseball links Kansan and Missourian, American and Japanese,
But most of all father and son.
Baseball is the scent of spring,
The unmistakable sound of a double down the line,
And the face of a 10-year-old emerging from a pile of bodies
With a worthless yet priceless foul ball.
Baseball is a language of very simple words that tell unbelievably magic tales.
Baseball is three brothers in the same uniform on the same team for one brief summer
Captured forever in a black and white photo on a table by the couch.
Baseball is a glove on a shelf, oiled and tightly wrapped,
Slumbering through the stark winter months.
Baseball is a breast pocket bulging with a transistor radio.
Baseball is the reason there are transistor radios.
Baseball is a voice in a box describing men you've never met,
In a place you've never been,
Doing things you'll never have the chance to do.
Baseball is a dream that you never really give up on.
Baseball is precious.
Baseball is timeless.
Baseball is forever.
- Greg Hall
The baseball team I'm coaching, Coral Springs Christian Academy, plays their rival Highlands Christian Academy in the District Championship tonight. This is like Covenant vs. Bryan or South Carolina vs. Clemson in the championship game. On paper we do not stand a chance - we start 2 seniors, 2 sophomores, 2 freshman, 3 eighth graders and a 7th grader (including our DH). Highlands starts 7 seniors, 3 juniors and has only 2 freshmen on their ENTIRE roster. Their faster, bigger, stronger, meaner, and did I say bigger (cf Friday Night Lights)?
This is your classic underdog story, a made for movie matchup between the little guys and the baseball Goliath (see the pic below from an earlier game this year - our 2nd baseman and their 1st basemanr). We've played Highlands twice already this year and lost both times. But we all know how difficult it is to beat a team three times in one season, and the beauty of baseball is that on any given day...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
A Day in the Life
The following is the first post on Brien's new blog.
We hope he will continue to update this blog regularly, but we won't be suprised if it falls dormant in the near future - not because of his lack of effort, but because of his lack of time. The following may explain our prediction:
"A day in the Life"
First real life experience blog written here.
It's a little rough - but I am in the middle of the work day.
Big Lunch
Yesterday was the first official company meeting (of my company).
6 sales guys were asked to meet at the office for lunch and a presentation from one of our major manufacturers. Three couldn't make it. One didn't answer the phone or show up. So we had 20 Panera sandwiches and 12 cookies and drinks and chips and 2 giant salads for me, 2 salesmen, and the manufacturer's rep.
Is Lupe there?
For the last three weeks my foreman has been calling asking for work, complaining that he has only had three jobs for the last three weeks from his other employer. I told him all my jobs were pending approval in the permit office.
Friday my first two permits were approved. Now the foreman's phone rings, and no one picks up.
I called his wife in Texas. Her English wasn't so good. And then Cingular dropped the call before I could give her my name and number.
And now I can't get a hold of her either.
Tracking down the mail carrier
I decided to save thirty bucks by mailing my notice of commencements into the county rather than have my permit runner service do it. The mail man collected it before 10 am, a little ahead of schedule.
Around 10am I realized one of the jobs with an NOC is in another county. And, as my permit service runner rep informed me, she needed it in order to pull the permit.
No big deal except the form has to be signed an notarized by the owner.
Actually, as of right now, it's a big deal.
Then Fed Ex shows up with a COD. I hadn't been to the bank yet, but the guy says he will swing back around before 1.
Works ok for me.
I set off to find the mail man and to go to the bank. After pulling out of my street, I saw him. Except it wasn't him. Same Post Service.
That guy told me about my mailman's route, and I set out to find him.
And didn't.
So I went to the bank.
Got the check.
Returned home.
As I pulled in Jason pulled out.
"Hey, the Fed Ex guy just stopped by 5 seconds ago."
I looked at my watch: 11:00.
I hope he doesn't come back at "sometime before 1."
I've still got to find the mail man, and I'd hate to miss the Fed Ex guy a third time.
Just tried Lupe again.
I'm starting to think I need a manager.
We hope he will continue to update this blog regularly, but we won't be suprised if it falls dormant in the near future - not because of his lack of effort, but because of his lack of time. The following may explain our prediction:
"A day in the Life"
First real life experience blog written here.
It's a little rough - but I am in the middle of the work day.
Big Lunch
Yesterday was the first official company meeting (of my company).
6 sales guys were asked to meet at the office for lunch and a presentation from one of our major manufacturers. Three couldn't make it. One didn't answer the phone or show up. So we had 20 Panera sandwiches and 12 cookies and drinks and chips and 2 giant salads for me, 2 salesmen, and the manufacturer's rep.
Is Lupe there?
For the last three weeks my foreman has been calling asking for work, complaining that he has only had three jobs for the last three weeks from his other employer. I told him all my jobs were pending approval in the permit office.
Friday my first two permits were approved. Now the foreman's phone rings, and no one picks up.
I called his wife in Texas. Her English wasn't so good. And then Cingular dropped the call before I could give her my name and number.
And now I can't get a hold of her either.
Tracking down the mail carrier
I decided to save thirty bucks by mailing my notice of commencements into the county rather than have my permit runner service do it. The mail man collected it before 10 am, a little ahead of schedule.
Around 10am I realized one of the jobs with an NOC is in another county. And, as my permit service runner rep informed me, she needed it in order to pull the permit.
No big deal except the form has to be signed an notarized by the owner.
Actually, as of right now, it's a big deal.
Then Fed Ex shows up with a COD. I hadn't been to the bank yet, but the guy says he will swing back around before 1.
Works ok for me.
I set off to find the mail man and to go to the bank. After pulling out of my street, I saw him. Except it wasn't him. Same Post Service.
That guy told me about my mailman's route, and I set out to find him.
And didn't.
So I went to the bank.
Got the check.
Returned home.
As I pulled in Jason pulled out.
"Hey, the Fed Ex guy just stopped by 5 seconds ago."
I looked at my watch: 11:00.
I hope he doesn't come back at "sometime before 1."
I've still got to find the mail man, and I'd hate to miss the Fed Ex guy a third time.
Just tried Lupe again.
I'm starting to think I need a manager.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Monday's with Murray
Buoyed by the midweek victory against Lynn, the [Lauderdale Soccer Club] "Homeless" had to face United FC on just one day's rest, but this fixture earlier in the year had seen the United go down by 8-0 in Lauderdale's most lopsided victory of the campaign so far. It did not take long for Lauderdale's supremacy to show on the scoreboard. After 19 minutes, Dieujuste played Lormera near the touchline along the left. He cruised past his marker and stormed in on goal. Nearly running out of real estate, he fired from barely 1 yard out against a stationary GK Jason Hetzel.
LSC's own GK Saeben Gagnon was forced into a couple of difficult saves but made them look routine. Then ten minutes later, a pretty ball from Alerte bounced perfectly for Sidky who reached it just before Hetzel's fingertips could snatch it away. The big striker finished into the empty net, as LSC's forward partners, on pace for twenty goals apiece, both made amends for their midweek finishing woes. Just before the break, Hetzel injured his hand in a collision with his defender and the ball, which landed fortuitously to Petro for his first goal since February 5th.
In the second half, LSC made wholesale changes, and the side came out sluggishly. United jumped out with renewed vigor and grabbed a consolation goal after second half substitute GK Chad Stanford tipped a dangerous cross into the path of former Homeless, Renato Spanu for an empty net tap-in.
Lauderdale roared back with a delicious penetrating ball from JC Penagos into the path of an onrushing Brien Meyer who wrongfooted the United goaltender and finished cleanly into the side netting. On 78 minutes, Diego Rojas probed forward along the right and crossed beautifully to Milli Pasic, who posed for the cameras before blasting a picture-perfect side-volley into the empty net with his right for his first ever goal wearing the red and white.
Just moments from time, Brien Meyer chased a ball into the left corner and felt he was fouled. The official did not agree and kept playing, but rather than lose composure, Meyer timed his run perfectly and leaped above the defense to smash home a towering header off a gorgeous feed from Orlando Lawrence. That goal finished the scoring and gave Meyer three tallies in the last two matches.
- Lauderdale Soccer Club website
LSC's own GK Saeben Gagnon was forced into a couple of difficult saves but made them look routine. Then ten minutes later, a pretty ball from Alerte bounced perfectly for Sidky who reached it just before Hetzel's fingertips could snatch it away. The big striker finished into the empty net, as LSC's forward partners, on pace for twenty goals apiece, both made amends for their midweek finishing woes. Just before the break, Hetzel injured his hand in a collision with his defender and the ball, which landed fortuitously to Petro for his first goal since February 5th.
In the second half, LSC made wholesale changes, and the side came out sluggishly. United jumped out with renewed vigor and grabbed a consolation goal after second half substitute GK Chad Stanford tipped a dangerous cross into the path of former Homeless, Renato Spanu for an empty net tap-in.
Lauderdale roared back with a delicious penetrating ball from JC Penagos into the path of an onrushing Brien Meyer who wrongfooted the United goaltender and finished cleanly into the side netting. On 78 minutes, Diego Rojas probed forward along the right and crossed beautifully to Milli Pasic, who posed for the cameras before blasting a picture-perfect side-volley into the empty net with his right for his first ever goal wearing the red and white.
Just moments from time, Brien Meyer chased a ball into the left corner and felt he was fouled. The official did not agree and kept playing, but rather than lose composure, Meyer timed his run perfectly and leaped above the defense to smash home a towering header off a gorgeous feed from Orlando Lawrence. That goal finished the scoring and gave Meyer three tallies in the last two matches.
- Lauderdale Soccer Club website
Friday, April 21, 2006
Easter at the Luthers, or Southerninity
Who needs an Easter egg hunt when you can do this instead?
Welcome to Easter [or insert any other holiday, birthday, or excuse to get together] at the Luther's.
To explain the above picture, we offer an excerpt from Caldwell's recent musings on this Easter at the Luther's. Note that Noah is the one across Papa's knee on the front tractor. Also, when did Dadu get so big?
And now for a ManvilleTabletalk poll:
Which Murray would you rather spend your Easter with? The lawnmower Murray pictured above, or the seersucker Murray pictured below?
Welcome to Easter [or insert any other holiday, birthday, or excuse to get together] at the Luther's.
To explain the above picture, we offer an excerpt from Caldwell's recent musings on this Easter at the Luther's. Note that Noah is the one across Papa's knee on the front tractor. Also, when did Dadu get so big?
"I feel like no words can appropriately describe that moment when I was flying from bump to grassy bump in your grandparents front yard clinging for my life to the steering wheel of the old lawnmower with your papa occasionally looking back at us and laughing . I'm pretty sure he was trying to throw us off. It was so much fun though. I'm pretty sure it was Noah's idea too; you should have seen his little face light up when he got on that lawn mower!... Man, you've just got to have times like that - when you ride a lawnmower to the back of the tractor and then go get a cold glass of sweet tea; I like to think of it as a time of Southern revival, reconfirming my Southern identity ... which I have renamed Southerninity."
And now for a ManvilleTabletalk poll:
Which Murray would you rather spend your Easter with? The lawnmower Murray pictured above, or the seersucker Murray pictured below?
Thursday, April 20, 2006
MPC Tour, Week 4
This past weekend The Tour traveled to Oaktree Country Club, and most of the players agreed that Oaktree was by far their favorite course to date. The course is much nicer than the previous Colony West and Margate Executive stops, with nicely kept greens that are fast and undulating. The fairways are tree lined and narrow, with water on several of the holes, including a Par 3 16th which Jamey noted looks strikingly similar to Augusta National's 16th. Locals say that this course will be a challenge for even the most experienced golfer. And with the loser having to buy the winner's round of golf, the stakes were even higher.
The locals proved correct. True to form, Jamey took an early lead out of the gate, winning the first skin before Jason could manage to pull even and then pass Jamey for an early 5-2-0 lead. With 2 skins on the line and a chance to head out from the front nine with a five hole advantage, Jason choked and three putted on the 9th green. Jamey had battled back from an errant second shot that put him in the bunker, but with a spectacular chip and putt, Jamey took the 2 skins. It looked to be another 18 hole battle between Jason and Jamey.
Then the unthinkable happened. Brien came blazing out of the gates on the back nine to win 10, 11, and 12 - his first three skins of the tour and was suddenly challenging for the lead. This proved to be unnerving to all the participants, particularly Jamey, who managed to lodge his pitching wedge in a beautiful tree lining the fairway on 13. Brien's sudden success also rattled Jason, feeling the pressure of possibly having to buy Brien's round of golf (a bet he had previously thought was un-losable).
Jason and Jamey both gathered themselves, however, and Brien soon found his old form, and by the last hole Jamey and Jason were knotted at 7 skins each. With Brien behind by 4, the Tour Committee decided to make the final hole interesting, increasing it's value by 3 skins, thus elevating it to the rarely seen status of a Four-Skin hole. This "next shot wins" opportunity meant that whoever took the Four-Skin would be the winner. The Par 5 18th proved to be too much Four-Skin for the competition, however, and showing the grit and determination that has propelled him to his current lead atop this year's winnings, Jason holed a difficult 10 foot putt and managed to win his 4th game in as many outings.
Despite the familiar ending, this game was anything but usual, and the players are eager to return Oaktree in the future: Jason to defend his title, Jamey to challenge, and Brien to find Jamey's pitching wedge in that tree.
Season skin totals:
Sleuth: 28 skins
Jamey: 20 skins
Murray: 3 skins
Kit: 1 Skin
Victories:
Sleuth - 4
Jamey - 0
Murray - 0
Kit - 0
The locals proved correct. True to form, Jamey took an early lead out of the gate, winning the first skin before Jason could manage to pull even and then pass Jamey for an early 5-2-0 lead. With 2 skins on the line and a chance to head out from the front nine with a five hole advantage, Jason choked and three putted on the 9th green. Jamey had battled back from an errant second shot that put him in the bunker, but with a spectacular chip and putt, Jamey took the 2 skins. It looked to be another 18 hole battle between Jason and Jamey.
Then the unthinkable happened. Brien came blazing out of the gates on the back nine to win 10, 11, and 12 - his first three skins of the tour and was suddenly challenging for the lead. This proved to be unnerving to all the participants, particularly Jamey, who managed to lodge his pitching wedge in a beautiful tree lining the fairway on 13. Brien's sudden success also rattled Jason, feeling the pressure of possibly having to buy Brien's round of golf (a bet he had previously thought was un-losable).
Jason and Jamey both gathered themselves, however, and Brien soon found his old form, and by the last hole Jamey and Jason were knotted at 7 skins each. With Brien behind by 4, the Tour Committee decided to make the final hole interesting, increasing it's value by 3 skins, thus elevating it to the rarely seen status of a Four-Skin hole. This "next shot wins" opportunity meant that whoever took the Four-Skin would be the winner. The Par 5 18th proved to be too much Four-Skin for the competition, however, and showing the grit and determination that has propelled him to his current lead atop this year's winnings, Jason holed a difficult 10 foot putt and managed to win his 4th game in as many outings.
Despite the familiar ending, this game was anything but usual, and the players are eager to return Oaktree in the future: Jason to defend his title, Jamey to challenge, and Brien to find Jamey's pitching wedge in that tree.
Season skin totals:
Sleuth: 28 skins
Jamey: 20 skins
Murray: 3 skins
Kit: 1 Skin
Victories:
Sleuth - 4
Jamey - 0
Murray - 0
Kit - 0
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
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