Rick Roll

As many of you already know, we're not the biggest fans of the New York Times. In fact, when it comes to good journalism, they rank fairly low on our list of sources to consult.

Which is why we like it whenever they make a mistake. It's juvenile, to be sure, but we can't help but laugh when they screw up.


With that in mind, you can imagine our glee at discovering the Times' latest goof. Evidently, the Times' ever cautious, ever careful, ever checking all the facts before reporting writers got punked by a couple of undergrads, when the NY Times reported on a current internet phenomenon called rickrolling. Turns out, it was the Times who got rickrolled.

You can watch an explanation of the phenomenon here.

The End of an Era

The man who is perhaps our favorite professor thus far in our legal education retired this past month. We were thankful to have studied under him twice, once for Business Corporations and then this semester for Business Crimes (White Collar Practice).

He has dedicated his life to two things: bringing down corrupt people and developing a lengthy list of hilarious one-liners used to pepper his class lectures.

This semester, we made it a point to write down as many of these sayings as we could. So now, as we study for our final examination next week, we give you those sayings that made it into our notes:

"You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas."

On why conspiracies are a unique threat to public safety:
“We’ve got people out there blowing themselves up left and right. Do you think the decision to blow yourself up is for or against your own self-interest, self-preservation? Huh? Ok, in a multiple choice question, check the “against” box.”

On the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals:
Ha. You'll get to Richmond and wish you were in Pakistan or somewhere like that.

On the Federal mail fraud statute:
“All we’ve got to prove now is whether there was a scheme to defraud. Think that’s hard? Guess what – You’ve got a lot of people with their pants down around their ankles, who you de-pants-ed, who are really hurting right now. It's not hard. Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.”

There are certain people out there who would rather trace laundered money than eat. They are hardwired, by God, to straighten stuff like this out. Find them.

Nobody ever takes a bribe. They just borrow money, or take loans…that are never paid back.

You want it? You got it. Toyota.

Comma, however, comma . . .

Do you know what the definition of a strip mall is? Grocery store and one end, drug store at the other end, and 11 Chinese restaurants in between.

You know the saying about trying to teach a pig to dance? It doesn’t work, and it annoys the pig.

Just before abruptly ending class 25 minutes early:
Any questions on this, I’ll be happy to take any questions? [whining] “Weee wannnaaa go, John.” Ok. Go.

Commenting on a case where the Criminal drove a Volvo:
Just goes to show you, bad people can buy Volvo’s. It’s not just soccer moms.

“Martha Stewart thought she could charm the dog off of the meat wagon.”

Chiarella was going to be hung up on the cross to pay for the sins of Wall Street.

After calling on a third year student who knew the answer to his question:
God bless you. Somebody read the case here. What’s this case about? Food. Is food important to sustain life? Yes, John. What do you do with food? You eat it, John. You put it in your body and it sustains you, John.

Anyone ever been at a place when the FBI raided it? Guess what -- it's a big deal. In other words, get the H out of here. This is not kids stuff…this is not “ohh, the FBI was here today, it was fun, we had a cup of coffee and a donut and then they went home.” Uh-uh. This is for real.

Freud gets to heaven, St. Peter welcomes him. Says, “We’re so glad to see you here, you’ve come at just the right time. God is having delusions of grandeur.” Freud answered, “Why is that, what do you mean?”
St. Peter replied, “God thinks he’s a federal district court judge.”

If you’re an expert, don’t look like a whore. “Yeah, I’ll testify on whatever they want me to for some money.”

An interesting short read about our new least favorite politician by our new favorite writer/commentator, Thomas Sowell.

“In Shelby Steele's brilliantly insightful book about Barack Obama -- "A Bound Man" -- it is painfully clear that Obama was one of those people seeking a racial identity that he had never really experienced in growing up in a white world. He was trying to become a convert to blackness, as it were -- and, like many converts, he went overboard.”

Overheard: Our Third Installment

Huck is at it again tonight.

We sure wish we had picked up on this conversation earlier:

Huck: I mean she’s a tiny girl with D cups – that’s a gift from heaven above
Huck: She has a tiny little dog like nose.
Huck: I don’t know, the nose is weird. Her nose and her boobs distract me.
Huck: Okay, I love you too.

Yet again, if we could only have heard the other end of the conversation...

You might be a redneck golfer if . . .

. . . you kill a bird by hitting it with a golf ball.

And you're a damned fool with too much time on your hands if you want to prosecute the golfer for doing it.

Why Most Voters Shouldn't Vote

"Often the most fanciful ideas become the least questioned assumptions. In this election season a few have made themselves apparent, such as the notion that "change" is good by definition and "experience" is definitely good. Yet an even better example is the oft-repeated platitude that greater voter participation yields a healthier republic."

So says Selwyn Duke of the American Thinker. We think you should read the entire essay.

Election 2008 . . .

. . . it could be worse. Consider these great orators of the Democratic Party*:

• "One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson
  
  
• "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
  
  
• "The buck stops here."--Harry S. Truman
  
  
• "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."--John F. Kennedy
  
  
• "They gave me a hat. I have the hat to this day. I have the hat."--John Kerry

At least we're not dealing with that last guy as a potential candidate anymore.


*Borrowed from the Wall Street Journal

Overheard, again.

Our friendly carrel neighbor was at it again this week.

On one occasion, it sounded as though he was having a fight, not with someone on the other end of the telephone, but with his textbooks. Despite being two rows over and several carrels down from us, we could hear (what sounded like) him picking up several textbooks, dropping them loudly on one side of his desk, and then letting out a sigh that was longer and louder than most air leaks in a tire. He would then repeat the process, presumably moving the stack of books to the other side of his desk, followed by yet another sigh. Keep in mind that these desks are no bigger than 3.5 feet x 2.5 feet. This behavior carried on for several minutes.

We feel bad for his desk.

But what really got our attention was another cell phone conversation. We assume that it was his (faithful?) mother on the other end. We'd love to get your thoughts as to what was being said by his mother...

[Elevator doors open and out comes our hero]

Huckleberry Hound Dog: No, it’s a PT Cruiser.

Huck: Same thing though, its designed by the same person.

Huck: Well I hope it’s nicer.

Huck: Is it supposed to be nicer?

Huck: 'Cause I’m saying, I can’t pay off loans 'til I get out of school.

Huck: Hello?

Huck: I didn’t ask you to buy me a new car!!

Huck: Ok, I love you.

[Elevator doors open again, and away goes Huck. Apparently the Fourth Floor of the library is just one big telephone booth for him -- enter to make a call, leave when you're done.]

A new car, eh? Perhaps this is the reward for a Property Exam grade that turned out better than we could have expected.

Covenant College

We recently discovered that our alma mater had been selected as one of MSNBC's "Pretty College Campuses."

For once, MSNBC was right.

Law Review

One of our readers forwarded us a noteworthy tid-bit about one of Manville's very own. You can read the entire February 11, 2008 E-brief here.

Student Bar Association eBrief

NEW LAW REVIEW EDITOR On February 7, 2008 the membership of the South Carolina Law Review elected [Sleuth] as the Editor in Chief of Volume 60. [Sleuth] has a BA in History from Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia, and expects to receive his JD from USC in 2009. Before law school, [Sleuth] helped found a construction business that rebuilt homes in hurricane damaged south Florida. He has also worked as a paralegal and project assistant in law firms in South Carolina and Tennessee. [Sleuth's] note, A Tale of Two Cities: Is Lozano v. City of Hazelton the Judicial Epilogue to the Story of Local Immigration Regulation in Beaufort County, South Carolina?, will be published in the Law Review's Survey of South Carolina Law in April 2008.

If you're unsure what a Law Review is, Wikipedia has a fairly good explanation here, and South Carolina's is located here.

Perhaps this is a fitting time for a hearty ol' "Go Cocks."

Obama = Messiah?

Excuse me, but this sounds more like a cult than a political campaign. The language used here is the language of evangelical Christianity – the Obama volunteers speak of "coming to Obama" in the same way born-again Christians talk about "coming to Jesus."

But he's not Jesus! He's not going to magically enable us to transcend the bitter partisanship that is tearing this country apart. And even if he is elected, in no way will that show that somehow we have "gotten beyond" race.

Kathleen Geier of the liberal TPMCafe (and an Edwards supporter) commenting on this article.

“I’ve been following politics since I was about 5." “I’ve never seen anything like this. This is bigger than Kennedy. [Obama] comes along, and he seems to have the answers. This is the New Testament. This is surprising.”

Chris Matthews in the New York Observer

Perhaps it's my atheism at work but I found myself increasingly wary of and resistant to the salvational fervor of the Obama campaign, the idealistic zeal divorced from any particular policy or cause and chariot-driven by pure euphoria. . . . I don't look to politics for transcendence and self-certification.

James Wolcott, a left leaning contributor to Vanity Fair.

See for yourself.

Superbowl Parable

We overheard this story on the radio last week:

Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Tom Brady went to see God, and God asked Peyton Manning, "What do you believe?"
Peyton said, "I believe in family, winning, and going after everything you can when you got the opportunity."
God said, "I like that belief, take a seat on my left side."

God turned to Brett Favre and asked, "What do you believe?" Favre said, "I believe in winning, going after everything, taking care of family."
"Man, I really like that belief, sit on my right side," God replied.

Finally, God asked Tom Brady, "What do you believe?"

Tom Brady replied, "I believe you're in my seat."


We're taking last night's game as an indication that God didn't exactly agree.

Foreclosing on the NYT

Query whether Hillary, if elected president, will bail out the increasingly struggling New York Times much like she intends to bail out thousands of Americans who borrowed more money than they could afford when they purchased their last home.

It seems consistent, and would only be fair. Consistent, because both plans mean propping up a business that "the market" has determined is not profitable/successful. Fair, because, well, she owes them.

Palmetto Politics

Our Boring Governor

Laughing with the next (?) POTUS

Who has the funnier family, the Obamas, or the Romneys?
We laugh, you decide.

Beer Politics

Which of the presidential candidates would you rather have a beer with in 2008? That's the question that the National Beer Wholesaler's Association is asking. An interesting question, though we fail to see how that "quality" bears any relation to the requisite merits for elected office. If anything, it's probably a disqualification - most of our more entertaining drinking buddies would make terrible presidents, and fun for pints does not = good for president.

And yet, the poll is revealing. After all, our generation epitomizes the coffee shop and pub culture - we're generally not going to march, or riot, or get too dirty in one cause or another, but by golly if we won't sit around and talk about it over a cup of coffee or a couple of beers. For Gen X, perhaps the most important characteristic we look for in relationship, and in trusting someone, is authenticity. Who are more authentic than then the folks you regularly imbibe with, or the seemingly intelligent philosophe who's always at the coffee shop?

A few other comments:
The leader in the poll is Obama. This underscores our general perception of his campaign as one of identity politics and/or populism. "You drink with me and I'll drink with you...and we will drink together, and we will vote together..."

Ron Paul and John McCain are second and third. This probably because we can count on them having some pretty sweet war stories that will come out after pint 5 or 6.

One wonders why Huckabee and Romney are even on the poll. Mormon's don't generally drink, and the once Baptist preacher probably wouldn't even step in the bar with you to begin with. Maybe it's some sort of twisted desire to be the one who gives them their first drink.

Hilary is right in the middle. This is baffling. We're not sure who would vote to have her along on the pub crawl, especially since the thought of her laugh combined with alcohol reminds us too much of Jessica Walters as the ever-tipsy Lucille Bluth in Arrested Development.

Perhaps most surprising is how low John Edwards ranks. Surely, after the bookoodles of money he's made as a noble plaintiff's attorney, we could bank on ol' John picking up the tab for the night. Which is why we'd vote him number one.

Supreme Court YouTube

If Supreme Court justices were ever to enter the world of YouTube, it would probably resemble something like this footnote from a recent opinion by Justice Scalia in Scott v. Harris:

JUSTICE STEVENS suggests that our reaction to the videotape is somehow idiosyncratic, and seems to believe we are misrepresenting its contents. See post, at 4 (dissenting opinion) ("In sum, the factual statements by the Court of Appeals quoted by the Court . . . were entirely accurate"). We are happy to allow the videotape to speak for itself. See Record 36, Exh. A, available at http://www.supremecourtus.gov/opinions/video/scott_v_harris.rmvb and in Clerk of Court's case file.
The video is there for the watching. Enjoy, Justice Stevens.

Overheard

The law school has a limited number of "deluxe" study carrels available for student use. We use "deluxe" to distinguish these carrels, which are given only to winners of a school-wide lottery OR distinguished members of the SC Law Review, from the regular carrels available on a first come first serve basis. Also, the deluxe carrels have a door w/lock, window, filing cabinet, and built-in shelves.

What they do not have is soundproofing.

The carrels stand approximately 8 feet high, but the walls do not extend to the ceiling. There are about 20 of them side by side and several rows wide. Though most people are respectful of the fact that the carrels are located in a library, and house people who are intent on studying, there are a handful of people who fail to maintain the desired level of quiet.

Those people also seem to forget that everything they say can be heard by anyone within earshot, regardless of whether their door, or their neighbor's door, is closed.

There is one particular person who especially annoys us in this regard. It doesn't help that he is a rather large chap, or that his voice is unusually high and breathy for a man of his size. He speaks with a distinct Southern accent, sort of like Huckleberry Hounddog.

All semester, this particular gentleman would have telephone conversations in his carrel. Generally, he sounded exasperated, perturbed, and upset with the person on the other end. Without fail, however, he would end his conversation with a rather forced "I love you too."

We speculated that he was a newlywed, who's long hours in the library were taking a toll on his relationship with his new bride.

And then we heard this conversation during the final week of Final Exams last December. It was all we could do to keep from laughing out loud as we imagined what was being said on the other end of the phone while we typed out word-for-word what was being said. Like usual, our friend was speaking in his wit's end, frustrated voice:

Huckleberry Houndog: "Yeah, I just finished."

[Our imagination about the what the other conversationalist must have said to warrant that response]: Are you done with your exam?

Huck: "It was about property and stuff."

Imagination: She probably just asked, "What was the exam on?" [funny, you'd think his wife would be on top of this. Also, it doesn't bode well for your grade when your description is "property and stuff"]

Huck: "I don’t really have any clue."

Imagination: She must have asked "How do you think you did?"

Huck: "I can tell you this, every single one of my classmates is going out to have a beer right now."

Imagination: She said, "It was pretty difficult, huh?"

Huck: "Here’s a toned down version: imagine Andre the Giant giving a proctology exam."

Imagination: She must have asked "Well how hard was it?" But ew, please don't make us imagine that.

Huck: "I’m still pulling his foot out of my rectal cavity, it’s pretty far up there right now."

Imagination: If this guy's wife is as smart as he is, she probably had just asked "What's a proctology exam?"

Huck: "No Ma’am, I’m gonna go home and watch a Western, watch John Wayne kill a few people and call it a night."

Imagination: The wife probably just made sure that he wasn't going out drinking with his classmates. She must really have him on a chain...who says ma'am to their wife??

Huck: Let me tell you something, Mother. On the morning of December 12th I don’t want you calling the house early, because I’m gonna be asleep in my bed.

Imagination: MOTHER?!?! NO. WAY. It's his mom he's been talking to all of these weeks? WOW, this totally changes everything!! Quick, find someone to come listen to this...

Huck: "Mom, I’m hanging up the phone. I don’t want to listen to another one of your lectures."

Imagination: This is unbelievable.

Quote of the Week

District Court Judge Rakoff:

''To Federal prosecutors of white-collar crime, the mail fraud statute is our Stradivarius, our Colt .45, our Louisville Slugger, our Cuisinart - and our true love. We may flirt with RICO, show off with 10b-5, and call the conspiracy law ‘darling,’ but we always come home to the virtues of 18 U.S.C. §1341, with its simplicity, adaptability, and comfortable familiarity. It understands us and, like many a foolish spouse, we like to think we understand it.”

See for yourself: 18 U.S.C. 1341 - Fraud and Swindles.