Saturday, January 06, 2007

Dellynnidate Update

Dellynnidate 2006 was exciting, entertaining, full of twists, and generally a pleasant success, though one wonders if any Elimidate from here on out will be able to match the fairy tale ending that made Elenadate 2005 a story for the ages.
There were a few naysayers, particularly Mr. Bintz, who lamented that Dellynnidate 2006 was "a debacle," and rumor has it that several in our company felt the bachelors had not stepped up to the plate. For the untrained eye, this may have appeared the case, but to the seasoned veterans, the whole event was both interesting and competitive.

The weekend nearly ended as soon as it began, when an external The Committee (we're still not sure who was on said committee) announced that Rabib would be Dellynne's escort to the semi-formal evening at the 1640 Hart House. With the romantic setting in a private room in one of the oldest buildings in America, and the unfortunate seating arrangement (which placed Rabib and Dellynne together at the end of the table), it appeared that Rabib had bolted to an early and insurmountable lead. I mean, Diamond Dave hadn't even arrived in Boston yet, and Rabib and Dellynne were already sharing a steak dinner. Fortunately, Murray and The Sleuth worked their wooing magic on one KZ, and Rabib's advantage was soon lost when he failed to buy Dellynne's dinner. You can hear Rabib's thoughts on the evening here.

Rabib didn't let the dinner hiccup affect his A game, however, and he continued to put the pressure on the other bachelors, taking Dellynne grocery shopping and creatively manipulating the car situation so that he and Dellynne were together on the ride to Boston, while the other bachelors were left wondering what happened as they rode alone. The tensions were high and Rabib's seemingly exclusive control of Dellynne erupted in a snowball fight among the bachelors. Murray and The Sleuth concocted a plan to disrupt Rabib's flirting, and spent the 45 minute drive to Boston text messaging Dellynne. The brilliant plan was not without its hitch, as Dellynne struggled to keep up with the two expert texters, and was ultimately confused as to which texts came from which bachelor. Although neither Murray nor The Sleuth got the edge in the texting, their plan was successful in that Rabib was no longer the center of Dellynne's attention.

The next opportunity for exclusivity came on New Year's Eve, when The Sleuth boldly bolted ahead of the meandering group and whisked Dellynne away to observe a lively street performance on the streets of downtown Boston. Upon Dellynne's confession of her unbridled attraction for black men, The Sleuth used his lawyering skills to secure Dellynne a spot in the street performance, where she was one of 4 women over whom the flying acrobat somersalted his way to a few more dollars. Had the bachelors been watching, they would have seen the black street performer put more moves on Dellynne in 30 seconds than the entire lot of Diamond Dave, Murray, The Sleuth and Rabib did all weekend. Thankfully, The Committee ruled that the street performer was ineligible, and the eligible bachelors were saved. Later that evening, The Sleuth stamped his seal of pursuit on Dellynnidate by ending 2006 and beginning 2007 with Dellynne in his arms, as they effortlessly whisked around the apartment, swing dancing to the likes of Glen Miller and company.

Murray's tendency to be a more subtle and coy pursuer is well documented, and time and space prevent me from cataloging his numerous attempts to win Dellynne's heart. But those who know the Murr Man well know that he never does anything half-assed, and when it comes to women, few can resist his boyish good looks and charming personality. Only time will tell if his playful antics will prevail.

Diamond Dave, in true fashion, was at times reserved and at times confidently forward. While he announced to the group during our Sunday morning lounge around that he was "sorta dating this girl back in Nashville" (The Committee is still out on the exact definition of "sorta dating") he was also the only bachelor to play his Timeout Card with Dellynne. His timing was nothing short of impressive, and his 15 minutes of alone time with Dellynne were spent walking arm in arm along Singing Beach off of the coast near Ipswich and Essex.

Although not a participant, because of his failure to actually show up in Boston, Macey also made his present known in Essex through his Eposts on Dellynne's Efacebook. However, his failure to be physically present ultimately cost him, and any promises of victory were empty attempts to make him fell wanted, bless his heart.

In the end, Dellynne refused to name a winner (probably because she had no idea she would be IN Dellynnidate until she arrived in Boston, and because she did not want to risk offending any of her brother's friends). However, she did offer the following thoughts on the whole weekend:

The Sleuth, my neck looks bigger than my dad's [a reference to the tshirt]. But, who cares... you look good [I know].
Murray- leaves early. and, he's running his own business and stuff, he's too busy for Bostonian liberals.
Diamond Dave- is he available? hmmm... hard to say. plus, he may end up marrying a beautiful African lady, and who am I to stand in the way?
Rabib- don't know. he's at least within a reasonable distance. But, he's running off to get a doctorate somewhere...
The Sleuth- available- but, distance is an issue. Plus, he smokes a pipe, nobody likes a pipe smoker [for the record, Dellynne is the only girl we know who in fact owns her own pipe, and smokes it]. Macey- from Lakeland, his biggest appeal. But, maybe I don't want a Lakeland guy... plus, he didn't put in the effort to be here... he therefore must lose.

Dellynnidate 2006. She won't vote, so you must...cast your vote now.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is both accurate and well put.
For the record, you left out Stephen's plans for you which spoiled your chances with me. I could never stand in the way of Stephen's hopes.

Although, you should ask him about the voice mail he recieved from me today.

matthew gillikin said...

i have a hard time ever voting against dave page. but he's kinda hard to pin down, so i'm probably going to just play the odds and go with macey, with his uncanny ability to pull things off. in situations where others would be humiliated and written off as a failure, macey tends to amuse and get into surprisingly good grad programs.

Kelly and Brien said...

i want to know about the voicemail the other day.
And what plans did Stephen have for Jason? And what did Jason do to ruin his chances?
How does Dellyne feel about Rob not paying for her dinner?
How does Dellyne really feel about Murray?
Did the lack of video or arranged activity dates contribute to the bachelor's debacled wooing, or is that just me?
Did anybody besides Rob even have a chance?
Dellyne ought to at least cross out two bachelors. Wooing isn't easy work, and I think it fair to know who the top two bacehlors are, for bragging rights, for peace of mind, and hope for tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Brien, this is a response to you specifically: it might help if you knew how to spell my name.. but, since thats a tough one... I'll answer questions: 1. The voice mail is to Stephen. 2. The plans are Stephens... you have to ask him. 3. Jason ruined his chances by a comment against volumptuous women... I don't know how to spell that word, so I take back the strike about spelling my name. 4. A man is expected to pay for dinner, but when he is jobless and in seminary, it is excusable if he doesn't. 5. Murray is wonderful, and a bit cryptic. 6. Mr. Bintz was correct in thinking that the bachelors weren't really specific in their strategies. 7. Everyone has a chance, but did anyone besides Rob make an effort? 8. the Two bachelors that must be crossed out for obvious reasons: Dave Page who is taken. David Macey who, though there is strong reason to believe he'd score well (the creative writing talents and all), didn't show. I know he isn't on the shirt, but he must be included by the years of being a roomy.