What do this picture, most of my college experience, and 1L law school exams have in common?

We are taking a much needed break from studying - going on 15 hours today. We were actually in the study zone, as it were, until just a few minutes ago when our mind suddenly made a whole bunch of connections. Unfortunately, they have very little to do with our next exam. Fortunately (for you), they have everything to do with this blog.

First, a quick story from a few weeks back. As a lunch time special lecture, USC law school hosted two USC law alumns, Joe Rice and Ron Motley. Lest you think poorly of USC law, we present these two plaintiff's attorneys as evidence to the contrary. As our civil procedure prof later noted, Motley and Rice are, financially speaking, the two most successful attorneys in the history of the world. You read that last line correctly. Go Cocks.

These guys made a name for themselves as the brains behind the asbestos litigation, the tobacco company suits and the Bridgestone/Firestone tires rollover litigation (to name a few), and are now taking on litigation for the 9/11 victims, suing the Arab Bank for financing Hamas and Hezbollah, and a suit against an Arab Sheikh for kidnapping, human trafficking and child enslavement (essentially the thousands of kids that have been forced to become camel jockeys). You could call this an alternative form of counter terrorism - suck the financiers of terrorism dry. The pending litigation was the topic of their lecture. Oh, and if you're curious, you can read the amended complaint for the 9/11 suit - if we were you, we'd skip over the first 200 pages (all plaintiffs and defendants names) and get to the end of the complaint, where they list the damages...at $1 trillion dollars. Mmhmm, 1,000,000,000,000 dollars.

Connection number one. These guys are USC law alumni. We too will one day graduate from USC law. Rice's daughter is in our 1L class. One of our close friends here at school has a stepmom who is an attorney at Motley Rice. In the presentation, Joe Rice publicly ridiculed our buddy Blaine in front of the entire student body (Blaine graduated from Clemson and happened to wear a bright orange shirt that day). On more than one occasion we have publicly defamed Clempson, and while we love Blaine, we very much dislike tigers, especially of the orange and purple variety.

Story number two. In college, we lived in Manville. Not the small town near Myrtle Beach, but room 211 on Second South in Carter Hall. We had a huge green sign that hung in the hallway outside our door: <---- MANVILLE. Hence the name of this blog. And so much more...

Story number three. We are currently studying for our Torts exam. Our professor is internationally recognized as one of the leading experts in the field of products liability. Our exam will undoubtedly be 50% plus on products liability. Fortunately, our professor seems to enjoy history as much as we do, so a lot of this studying includes legal history and common law development.

Connection number two. Motley Rice is recognized as a leading firm in the field of products liability. Also, professor Owen is an exclusive bow tie wearer. We too wear bow ties.

Connection number three. One of the leading cases in the early history of products liability is Beshada v. Johns Manville Products Corp. It was an asbestos cases.

Story number four. Our professor has, on multiple occasions, referred to himself in the third person, as THE David G. Owen. We do not use the third person reference, but instead prefer the first person plural.

Connection number four. Did we mention Motley Rice did asbestos litigation? In fact, they did so much asbestos litigation, The American Lawyer dubbed Ron Motley as "The Man who took on Manville." Hey, we lived in Manville. And we're reading about asbestos and Johns Manville right now.

Connection number five. The picture above is a pic from college of Rob and us in front of the Johns-Manville sign at one of their plants in Tennessee. Oh, and the t-shirt we're wearing is one we got when we worked at Nexsen Pruet (one of the largest Defense law firms in SC).

Summary: I don't even know how to sum all of this up.

Lesson: there are a heck of a lot of things that are more exciting than studying for Torts, and somehow your brain will focus on those things rather than the studies at hand.

Connection addendum: A second major asbestos case was Anderson v. Owens-Corning. The USC law school is notoriously "infected" with asbestos (that's right, the building that we spend 10-14 hours a day inside, the same building where Motley and Rice earned their JD's so that they could sue the asbestos manufacturers). Certain sections of the building are sealed to keep the asbestos in. We hope to be a member of a class action suit one day. Owens-Corning, in addition to producing asbestos, also is a leading shingle manufacturer. MPC used to (and we presume still does) sell Owens Corning asphalt shingles. We have roofed several houses with Owens-Corning shingles.

Gonzales v. Carhart; Virginia Tech v. Cho Seung-Hui; and Everybody v. Bush

The juxtaposition of various news bits this week really has us scratching our heads.

First, consider this bit from the NY Times a day after the mass murder in Blacksburg:

Our hearts and the hearts of all Americans go out to the victims and their families. Sympathy was not enough at the time of Columbine, and eight years later it is not enough. What is needed, urgently, is stronger controls over the lethal weapons that cause such wasteful carnage and such unbearable loss.

Within hours of the shooting, anti-gun advocates were already firing away on their keyboards, eager to make this incident a political talking point target for proposing more gun control laws. We've even read folks who are saying its high time we shoot down (repeal) the supposedly "ambiguous" Second Amendment so that the federal government will be uninhibited in passing any and all gun regulations.

Second, also just hours after the shooting, the Supreme Court handed down their decision regarding partial birth abortion in Gonzales v. Carhart. Justice Ginsburg's dissent sums up accurately the media and liberals' reaction to the ruling:

"[T]his way of thinking reflects ancient notions of women's place in the family and under the Constitution--ideas that have long since been discredited."

The majority's opinion "cannot be understood as anything other than an effort to chip away a right declared again and again by this court, and with increasing comprehension of its centrality to women's lives."

The conservative majority "tolerates, indeed applauds, federal intervention to ban nationwide a procedure found necessary and proper in certain cases" by doctor's groups, including gyncecologists.

Third, there's the ever present war. One editor of a Pennsylvania newspaper had this to say:

What would you call a place where Virginia Tech-like orgies of violence happen every day? Iraq. So, where's the daily outcry? The shock? The horror? The huge newspaper headlines?

We all mourn the victims at Virginia Tech. As we should. Why don't we all mourn the Iraqi victims of George Bush's war? Are we numb to the numbers? When a car bomb kills 40 are they somehow less human than the 32 in Blacksburg?
Because it's a war? But we started the war. Before we did that, it was a stable, if brutal dictatorship.
Is it because people would have died anyway, because of Saddam's brutality? But now it's on us. They're dying because of what we did. Often times dozens if not hundreds a day, because we decided to go to war in a country we didn't understand. Not because we had to fight, but because we wanted to. . . .
And the blood on all of our hands.

Now for the head scratching. WE DO NOT understand how, in the same breath, people can be so adamant about prohibiting, restricting, or straight up eliminating a freedom to bear arms that is clearly enumerated in the text of the Constitution, while at the same time turn a blind eye to the clearly defined rights guaranteed to all persons (born or unborn) in America in pursuit of a woman's right to choose an abortion - a right that is not mentioned in the Constitution and is created only under the guise of the ever-elusive right to privacy.

If Congress wants to regulate the use of guns, because they think that public policy demands it, many on the Left couldn't be happier. But if Congress decides to regulate the unnecessary killing of unborn babies, because they think public policy demands it, that same Left couldn't be more irate.

Furthermore, WE DO NOT understand how people can be so upset about some deaths, yet so flippant about others. Consider:

• 33 brutal deaths at VA Tech
• 3,300 plus dead in Iraq
• 130,000 annual deaths from partial birth abortions (10% of the estimated 1.3 million abortions performed every year are 2nd trimester "partial birth abortions")
  

The NY Times described the Tech shootings as "carnage" and "unbearable."

If you want to read about unbearable carnage, keep reading.

The following are excerpts from Justice Kennedy's opinion in Gonzales v. Carhart.

Sometimes, in the midst of academic and constitutional debates on public policy and individual rights in the abstract, it's good to stop and consider what the conduct that we're discussing actually entails. The Court describes it in rather graphic detail - if this doesn't make you cringe, or bring tears to your eyes, then you've obviously been watching too many of NBC's Cho videos:

After sufficient dilation the surgical operation can commence. The woman is placed under general anesthesia or conscious sedation. The doctor, often guided by ultrasound, inserts grasping forceps through the woman's cervix and into the uterus to grab the fetus. The doctor grips a fetal part with the forceps and pulls it back through the cervix and vagina, continuing to pull even after meeting resistance from the cervix. The friction causes the fetus to tear apart. For example, a leg might be ripped off the fetus as it is pulled through the cervix and out of the woman. The process of evacuating the fetus piece by piece continues until it has been completely removed. A doctor may make 10 to 15 passes with the forceps to evacuate the fetus in its entirety, though sometimes removal is completed with fewer passes. Once the fetus has been evacuated, [*23] the placenta and any remaining fetal material are suctioned or scraped out of the uterus. The doctor examines the different parts to ensure the entire fetal body has been removed. See, e.g., Nat. Abortion Federation, supra, at 465; Planned Parenthood, supra, at 962.

The court goes on to describe one nurse's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the partial birth abortion procedure:

"'Dr. Haskell went in with forceps and grabbed the baby's legs and pulled them down into the birth canal. Then he delivered the baby's body and the arms -- everything but the head. The doctor kept the head right inside the uterus . . . .

"'The baby's little fingers were clasping and unclasping, and his little feet were kicking. Then the doctor stuck the scissors in the back of his head, and the baby's arms jerked out, like a startle reaction, like a flinch, like a baby does [*28] when he thinks he is going to fall.

"'The doctor opened up the scissors, stuck a high-powered suction tube into the opening, and sucked the baby's brains out. Now the baby went completely limp . . . .

"'He cut the umbilical cord and delivered the placenta. He threw the baby in a pan, along with the placenta and the instruments he had just used.'" Ibid.

Dr. Haskell's approach is not the only method of killing the fetus once its head lodges in the cervix, and "the process has evolved" since his presentation. Planned Parenthood, 320 F. Supp. 2d, at 965. Another doctor, for example, squeezes the skull after it has been pierced "so that enough brain tissue exudes to allow the head to pass through." App. in No. 05-380, at 41; see also Carhart, supra, at 866-867, 874. Still other physicians reach into the cervix with their forceps and crush the fetus' skull. Carhart, supra, at 858, 881. Others continue to pull the fetus out of the woman until it disarticulates at the neck, in effect decapitating it. These doctors then grasp the head with forceps, crush it, and remove it. Id., at 864, 878; see also Planned Parenthood, supra, at 965. [*29]

Cho was evil.

Is allowing the above described procedures any better?

The blood truly is on our hands.

Perspective...

The largest school shooting in American history. A dear friend in a car wreck last week now still in a coma. Fellow classmate who broke her foot last night in our co-ed soccer game - surgery to put two plates in her foot a week before exams...

God's Grandeur
Gerard Manley Hopkins

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; Bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs--
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Who said Covenant was the only marriage mill on the hill?

One of the most common refrains/complaints we heard in undergrad about our college - too many girls are there just to get the ol' Mrs degree.

We've got news folks. Covenant ain't unique.

Consider: an average Wednesday night in the law school library, briefing the cases in our Property book and trying to be a good student, when along come two cute girls who plop down across the table from us. We've never seen them before -- and we recognize just about everybody at the law school. Within seconds we've struck up a conversation, and one girl quickly asks if we'd be willing to answer some questions they have for a research project they're doing for their investigative journalism class.

This explains why we've never seen them. They're undergrads.

Perhaps unwisely, we agree to answer their questions. They never really explained what the project was about, nor gave much introduction to the questions. Pretty soon they're asking us our thoughts about girls scoping out the law and med school libraries for a date, what we think about trophy wives, and how we feel about gold diggers. Slightly uncomfortable (and confused) by their questions, we call our buddy Will over for back up. He gets peppered with questions too.

It didn't take too long for the girls to get the answers they had come for; they thanked us and told us they'd email us the final product of their research.

Well, my friends, the research is complete. You can read all about it here: Majoring in MRS is becoming less BS.

For the record, they didn't really quote us accurately. Will pointed out later that we never said anything about "visions" to be shared with a wife. Of course, we should have foreseen this problem when we noticed that the note-taking girl only jotted down a few words to every response we gave - and they weren't Yes or No questions.

So for all of you naysayers who always criticized the Covenant dating culture, take note that it isn't only the small private schools that are handing out Mrs. degrees these days. No, the folks at the big universities are pursuing that elusive degree as well.

Our hunch: wherever girls and boys are located, there also will you find the girls on the prowl. And if you boys are looking, we've got two prospects for you.

Science says so: global warming and literal 6 day creation are Fo' Rizzle

"The 2007 Yale Center for Environmental Law & Policy Survey on American Attitudes on the Environment reveals that Americans want action on global warming and energy conservation – and most agree that they have a responsibility to do their part." - Memorandum from the Global Strategy Group to the Yale Center for Environmental Law & Policy

I read and hear stuff like this every day; not so subtle ways of promoting the global warming theory/agenda. It assumes that global warming is true. It proposes that most peope assume the same. And it implies that anyone who begs to differ is out of step with reality and science.
To be honest, I haven't made up my mind completely on the global warming issue.

But I do know this - it's anything but a scientific consensus.

The liberal talking head on some PBS show I was watching the other night scoffed at another round table participant when he suggested that there was scientific evidence contradicting some fundamental premises of the global warming theory. She said something to the effect of "only a right wing conservative like you, and few others, are still having that argument about whether global warming is scientific." As proof that it is, she noted how much the media and popular culture accept it as fact.

If that is the measure of scientific validity, then my name is Abe Lincoln.
And the liberals are talking out of both sides of their mouth.

Here's why:

The memo I quoted above is based on the recently published Yale Environmental Poll. Poll results include:

**The percentage of Americans who say global warming is a serious problem has risen to 83% from 70% in 2004.

**More than two out of three (68%) Americans agree that global warming is something people can control. And fully 81% agree with the statement, “It is my responsibility to help reduce the impacts of global warming.”

**Close to two-thirds (63%) of Americans agree that our country “is in as much danger from environmental hazards such as air pollution and global warming as it is from terrorists.”

** 58% agree that "as the Bible says, the world was literally created in six days."

Wait a second. What was that? Not even evangelicals have a consensus on that last point - and yet a majority of Americans think Moses (and God) got it right?

If that's the case, why aren't the liberals and mass media on huge campaigns for 6 day creation? (Surely only an uninformed ignoramus, and few others, are still having that argument about whether 6 day creation is scientific) Why aren't former vice presidents (and presidential hopefuls) getting Oscars for documentaries supporting the "Biblical" theory (query whether 6 day creation and Biblical theory are synonymous?) of how the earth came into being? (if you don't think that Oscar was politically motivated and the biggest rigged award ever, I don't know what is)

I mean, you can't argue with science, right? Basically, if you read this poll correctly, the biblical story of creation has only slightly less scientific merit than global warming.

So why don't we here the global warming folks championing the unquestionable scientific fact of literal 6 day creation?

One possible answer is revealed further in the Yale Poll.

71% of the people polled agreed with the statement "I consider myself an intellectual."
59% agreed that "I have more ability than most people."

America is made up of an overwhelming majority of intellectuals, a majority of whom have more ability than the majority. If you don't believe me, ask 2 out of every 3 people you know. They'll know what I mean.

Humor from Father Sleuth

Our dad just sent us this. He's quite the philosopher/theologian...

Happy St. Patty's Day (Alabama style)

Despite the continued search for the Wee Lil' Man, it appears some of these folks have already discovered the "Pot O' Gold Teeth..."

Some Inconvenient Statistics

I watched a little of the Oscars the other night. Until "An Inconvenient Truth" picked up a trophy for Best Documentary. I got a sick feeling in my stomach just listening to Al Gore speak. At least is wasn't John Kerry.

Evidently, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research issued a report on Gore's personal participation in the global warming scam - TCPR obtained utility records from Gore's mansion, which they described as "located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville":

The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh--more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh--guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore's average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore's energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006.

Gore's extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore's mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.

The Tennessean reports, however, that Gore is buying his indulgences:

Gore purchased 108 blocks of "green power" for each of the past three months, according to a summary of the bills.

That's a total of $432 a month Gore paid extra for solar or other renewable energy sources. . . .

"Every family has a different carbon footprint," said Kalee Krider, a spokeswoman for Gore. The Gores' 10,000-square-foot house on Lynnwood Boulevard has a large one.

The Green Power Switch program isn't all that Gore and his wife, Tipper, are doing, Krider said.

They use compact fluorescent light bulbs and are in the midst of a renovation project that includes having solar panels installed on their home to reduce fossil fuel consumption, she said.

Their car? A Lexis hybrid SUV.

"They, of course, also do the carbon emissions offset," she said.

That means figuring out how much carbon is emitted from home power use, and vehicle and plane travel, then paying for projects that will offset that with use of renewable energy, such as solar power.

According to WSJ, however, "not every wealthy politician lives in a vast private mansion, and TreeHugger.com reports on one who lives more simply:"

Is it possible that George Bush is a secret Green? Evidently his Crawford Winter White House has 25,000 gallons of rainwater storage, gray water collection from sinks and showers for irrigation, passive solar, geothermal heating and cooling. "By marketplace standards, the house is startlingly small," says David Heymann, the architect of the 4,000-square-foot home. "Clients of similar ilk are building 16-to-20,000-square-foot houses." Furthermore for thermal mass the walls are clad in "discards of a local stone called Leuders limestone, which is quarried in the area. The 12-to-18-inch-thick stone has a mix of colors on the top and bottom, with a cream- colored center that most people want. "They cut the top and bottom of it off because nobody really wants it," Heymann says. "So we bought all this throwaway stone. It's fabulous. It's got great color and it is relatively inexpensive.

Just keeping it real.

Quote of the Day: Irony or Coincidence?

“I had never really traced my family history...”

—Al Sharpton, who has repeatedly demanded reparations, upon finding that an ancestor was owned by a distant relation of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond

Yankees...worse than fire ants

"Slowly but surely they have taken over Hilton Head, they've taken over Beaufort County. They're infiltrating Jasper County...they're worse than fire ants."
-Henry Ingram

After discussing a case in property today regarding negative deed restrictions that prohibited the sale of property to Negroes and Mongolians (why Mongolians were mentioned I have no idea - guess I forgot about that huge influx of Asian immigrants in St. Louis in the 1910's), our professor presented us with an interesting story.

A dude in South Carolina (Henry Ingram), owner of the Delta Plantation just north of Savannah GA, has certain restrictive covenants preventing the sale or lease of his property to people of the "Yankee race."

These prohibitions include:
1. Anyone from north of the Mason Dixon line (or who have lived above the line for over a year)
2. Anyone with the last name of Sherman, or whose last name can be rearranged to spell Sherman
3. No redwood can be used on the property (evidently there are certain types of redwood named after General Sherman)

Thankfully, ol' Henry has lightened up a bit in his old age. Now, the modified covenant allows a Yankee to purchase the land, only on the condition that he recite a Southern Oath, promising that "when speaking of Yankees, I will refer to them as scalawags or carpetbaggers." Furthermore, these proselytized folks must "whistle or hum Dixie as a sign of [their] loyalty and as a token of [their] new outlook on life."

Ahhh...just another fine day in South Carolina property law land.

Northerners are a people lost to all shame . . . cowards by nature, thieves upon principle, and assassins at heart. . . . The tiger that laps the blood and the beetle that gorges excrement, are but Yankees of the animal kingdom . . . our feelings towards [these] scarabi and vipers of humanity should be characterized neither by rage nor nausea, but by a fixed cheerful Christian determination to . . . curb their inordinate and bloody lusts by such adequate means as natural with suggests; and, as a general thing, to kill them without idle question as to whether they are reptiles or vermin. - John Daniel, Richmond Enquirer, 1863

V-day and Global Warming (but not in my words)

I'm so busy entertaining all the various lady friends in my life, I don't have time for original thoughts on this Valentines Day.

But James Taranto from the Wall Street Journal does:

London's Daily Telegraph reports that sending flowers on Valentine's Day can contribute to warming--and not just of your sweetie's heart:

The Valentine's Day bouquet--the gift that every woman in Britain will be waiting for next week--has become the latest bête noire among environmental campaigners.

Latest Government figures show that the flowers that make up the average bunch have flown 33,800 miles to reach Britain. . . .

Environmentalists warned that "flower miles" could have serious implications on climate change in terms of carbon dioxide emissions from aeroplanes.

The Telegraph's headline reads "Valentine Bouquets 'Are Bad for the Planet.' " It occurred to us that some neglectful husbands and boyfriends are going to use this as an excuse: I would have sent you flowers, honey, but I wanted to save the planet. Trust us on this one, guys, it won't work.

On the other hand, think of how much more meaningful it now is if you do send flowers. The message: You mean more to me than the whole world. This may be the best thing ever to happen to the floral industry.

Well said James, well said.

Manville Mustache Mania

Lawyers are, by and large, clean-shaven, well groomed, suave looking shmoozers. I'm sure that someday, I will find myself conforming to this stereotype. For now, I've found my own little way to rebel against the status quo.

Two words: fu manchu.



Interviews are approaching, and with them, the unavoidable question...to conform, or not to conform. Put differently, to shave, or not to shave.

Personally, I'm sticking with the 'stache.

Guys night out meets girls night out

Guys night out consisted of seeing Borat at the $1.50 theater, followed by a trip to the Ale House for a drink and some nachos. The Ale House is a nice, new, dedicated to sports bar, similar to the Fox and Hound.

Evidently Girls night out consisted of going to the Ale House. Jeff noted the plethora of women in the restaurant when we walked in - not necessarily attractive, just numerous.

For the first time in our life, we sat in a sports bar surrounded by TV's all of which were playing women's sports.
Sharapova v. Williams.
NCAA women's basketball on the giant projection screen.
Female snow boarding.

And figure skating.

That's right, they had figure skating on multiple big screen tvs at a sports bar.

We will never go to the Ale House again.

What do Jesus, MLK, and ESPN have in common?

I just read one of the better articles I've seen on ESPN.com. If you're like me, you probably get a little annoyed with the athletes who always thank God after winning the big game - its almost cliche. However, the two head coaches in the upcoming Super Bowl are anything but insincere, and although they will be the first black head coaches ever to take a team to the Super Bowl, it's character (i.e. Jesus), not color, that separates Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy.

While Michael Smith (no, not THAT Michael Smith), the author of the above article, is trying hard to get past race issues, the NCAA can't see anything BUT color. I'm not sure exactly what the NCAA actually does, but my impression is that it's one of three things: (1) Find and punish college kids who happen to play sports and also happened to accept some cupcakes from a tailgating fan (or other similar recruiting/compensation violations); (2) Seek and destroy any college that has a mascot that resembles an Indian in any fashion; (3) Beat the "America-is-still-racist-and-we-as-a-athletic- organization-are-personally-gonna-to-fix-that" Drum until it busts. And then beat it some more. It appears that the NCAA wants to further limit universities in South Carolina and Mississippi ability to host post season tournaments/games, simply because we "display the Confederate flag." And by display the flag, they mean that there is a monument on the state house grounds that commemorates that significant part of our history, and the flag flies there. The absurdity of all this warrants no more of my time than I've already given. NCAA - sub yourself out.

The front page of ESPN.com has a huge picture and link to an article about some 20 year old kid in jail in Georgia. The whole article is basically criticizing Georgia for having what the author believes is an "antiquated law," and caricatures the Peach State as a backwards, racist place, while making this kid out to be an innocent victim of biased white southerners. Nevermind the fact that the guy had oral sex with a 15 year old, or that he did drugs as a high schooler. How an article of this nature, that argues public policy issues and grossly stereotypes an entire state, fits in a sports magazine, I don't know.

This from the same ESPN that was so quick to jump on the bandwagon that berated the Duke lacrosse players for their alleged sexual assault of a dancer, making it out to be a huge issue of race. A Black dancer. Raped by White, Middle Class, SUV driving prep school Males. Turns out they probably didn't do it (they did maintain their innocence all along), meanwhile the relentless prosecutor who's main goal in life apparently was to bring down the Duke lacrosse players is facing ethics charges from the state bar. I may only be a 1L law student, but I'm pretty sure that that's about as bad as it gets as a lawyer.

Maybe he was telling the truth?

Every now and again we get these scam artist emails about transferring $25 million into our personal account on behalf of some Nigerian prince. We usually delete them.

Sometimes, however, they can be pretty humorous. Murray used to laugh with us at the Craigslist scammers that sent him emails. This one we received recently is especially funny. We saw a special on these guys on 20/20 a few weeks back - notice how they've tailored the email to fit certain profile descriptions they've created for us (e.g. lawyer, our name, etc.)

Good Day [Sleuth],

I crave your indulgence to kindly attend to this in good faith. I do not mean any disrespect approaching you through this medium. It is due to the time constrained of this matter.

My name is Barrister Bill Johnson, a legal practitioner and the personal Attorney to Mr.Quan [Sleuth], a national of your country here in after referred to as my client. My client Mr.Quan and his family was involved in an unfortunate 21st April 2002 fatal auto crash along loftus road London in which people were burnt to death. he lost his life alone with his family.

My late client was an oil magnet working with Chevron Oil Plc United Kingdom and had left behind a deposit of Eight Million seven hundred thousand pounds only (£8.7million) with a finance company. After the death of my client, the finance company contacted me, as his Attorney to provide his next of kin who should inherit his fortune. This according to them is their policy in sure circumstances. But Since his death I have made several Enquiries through your Embassy to locate any of my client's extended relative but this exercise has proved unsuccessful. I had to inform the finance company about my fruitless effort in locating my late client close relative or his next of kin. The board of directors of the company just adopted a resolution and I was mandated to provide his next of kin for the payment of this money within the next 15 official working days or forfeit the money as an abandoned fund.

The company had planned to invoke the abandoned property decree of 1996 to confiscate the funds after the expiration of the period given to me. But after an investigation in the finance company, I found out that some members of the company wants to divert this fund into their private accounts for their own interest and only want, to use the excuse that since I am not able to look for some one to make the claim, the money should be made unserviceable and that means submitting the fund to the federal government of this country and some to the company management which is not their main intentions.

I have reasoned very professionally and I feel it will be legally proper to present you as the next of kin of my deceased client. This is legally possible and would be done in accordance with the laws of the land. I seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin to the Deceased since you are at an advantage, bearing the same surname and equally from the same country, so that the proceeds of This Bank Account valued at £8.7 Million pounds can be paid to you, before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable to the bank where this huge deposit were lodged. note that this is legal, and 100% risk free since I have all vital documents that would be requested by them and that would confer you the legal right to make this claim.

I do sincerely sympathize the death of my client, but had thought it unprofitable for his funds to be summated to the federal government of this country. My aim now is to retrieve this fund, and for this I seek your assistance. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 3years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account valued at £8.7 Million pounds can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money, 60%to me and 40% to you. I know there might be other persons out there with the same last name as my late client. But after a little check my instinct tells me to contact you, can I trust you on this?. Will you be willing to assist me make this claim. I shall assemble all the necessary Legal Documents that will be used to back up your claim.

I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me by alternative email billjohnson_esq@excite.com for better confidentiality and send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction. My phone number is 44-76-2415-5245 Fax:+44-87-1256-3615 if this proposal is acceptable by you; do not take undue advantage of the trust I have bestowed in you, I await your urgent response.

Best regards,

Bill Johnson (Esq.)

Reply To:billjohnson_esq@excite.com

Tel:+44-76-2415-5245

Fax:+44-87-1256-3615

PLEASE TREAT AS ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENTIAL.

This may have not been a wise decision, but we responded. We couldn't resist.

Barrister Bill,
I regret to inform you that "your instinct" was wrong on this one. I believe the email address you meant to send this letter to was Ihavedumbasswrittenonmyforehead@gmail.com. Perhaps they can crave your indulgence.

Keep "reasoning professionally." You're doing great so far.

Sincerely,

J. Edgar Hoover
Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation
United States Department of Justice

SEC Football - it's a Southern thing

Most of you that know me know that I love me some college football. Especially SEC football. Especially South Carolina Gamecocks football.

I'm not unique. There are a lot of people who share my opinions - 5.5 million, to be exact. That's how many people attended SEC football games in the fall of 2005 (2006's numbers haven't been released). In case you're wondering, that's about 74,583 fans per game, and 97.4% of the SEC stadiums' capacity. That's .5 million more than attended Big 10 games, and 1.3 million more than attended Big 12 games, while the ACC is almost 2 million behind us.

The SEC is Big Boy Football, People. We don't mess around. As you probably heard repeatedly during the National Championship, the SEC is known for its speed - especially on defense. By and large, college football analysts and experts acknowledge that the SEC is "the best, toughest, wildest conference in the land."

If you ever want to hear someone whine, read the above paragraphs to a Big 10 fan. If there is such a thing as conference rivalries (and I think there is) then it doesn't get any more bitter than SEC v. Big 10. Every year I end up in a debate with some Big 10 friend about which conference is better. The issue has never been settled. Take this year for example. There were three Big 10 v. SEC bowl games (the best chance to see how the conferences match up) and the Big 10 won 2 of the 3. Of course, they lost the one that counted, the National Championship, and overall the Big 10 was 2-5 in bowl games this year, compared to the SEC's 6-3 record. And of the three SEC v. Big 10 games, that was the one that every thought had already marked as a Big 10 win.

Since 1990, the SEC is 30-23 against the Big 10 in head-to-head games (including bowls). And since the BCS began in 1998, the SEC has produced 3 national champions to the Big 10's 1 (and Auburn was denied a shot after their perfect 12-0 season in 2004).

Of course, if you think there are rivalries between SEC and Big 10, you should check out the intraconference matchups. Some of them are some of the oldest rivalries in all of college football. Some are newer. All are heated. Auburn v. Alabama. Georgia v. Florida. Tennessee v. Alabama. Georgia v. Auburn. Ole Miss v. Mississippi State. South Carolina v. Florida.
In some ways, the SEC is very much a microcosm of southern culture. There is a strong allegiance to the entire conference, and yet each state/university maintains a strong and loyal following.


I tell you all of that just so that this story about the Georgia congressman who opposed the pro-Gators resolution makes a little more sense. And maybe now I'll make a little more sense. Because I'd probably do the same thing.

Blast from the Past

Most of you Covenant folks will remember this from back in the day...I just came across it recently.

Dave Page is Flava Flav incarnate anew

"That girl was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I can't even describe how beautiful she was. I mean, it was like she had a face like a deer."
- Flava Dave

"Yeah, boyeeee..."
- Flava Dave




"I want a girl who looks good when she wakes up in the morning. We could take her face and dip it in dough and she’ll make some nice face-cookies. Some girls wake up, man, you could put their face in dough and you’ll get a gorilla cookie, for real!”
– Flava Flav

"Yeah, boyeeee..." - Flava Flav

Dellynnidate Update

Dellynnidate 2006 was exciting, entertaining, full of twists, and generally a pleasant success, though one wonders if any Elimidate from here on out will be able to match the fairy tale ending that made Elenadate 2005 a story for the ages.
There were a few naysayers, particularly Mr. Bintz, who lamented that Dellynnidate 2006 was "a debacle," and rumor has it that several in our company felt the bachelors had not stepped up to the plate. For the untrained eye, this may have appeared the case, but to the seasoned veterans, the whole event was both interesting and competitive.

The weekend nearly ended as soon as it began, when an external The Committee (we're still not sure who was on said committee) announced that Rabib would be Dellynne's escort to the semi-formal evening at the 1640 Hart House. With the romantic setting in a private room in one of the oldest buildings in America, and the unfortunate seating arrangement (which placed Rabib and Dellynne together at the end of the table), it appeared that Rabib had bolted to an early and insurmountable lead. I mean, Diamond Dave hadn't even arrived in Boston yet, and Rabib and Dellynne were already sharing a steak dinner. Fortunately, Murray and The Sleuth worked their wooing magic on one KZ, and Rabib's advantage was soon lost when he failed to buy Dellynne's dinner. You can hear Rabib's thoughts on the evening here.

Rabib didn't let the dinner hiccup affect his A game, however, and he continued to put the pressure on the other bachelors, taking Dellynne grocery shopping and creatively manipulating the car situation so that he and Dellynne were together on the ride to Boston, while the other bachelors were left wondering what happened as they rode alone. The tensions were high and Rabib's seemingly exclusive control of Dellynne erupted in a snowball fight among the bachelors. Murray and The Sleuth concocted a plan to disrupt Rabib's flirting, and spent the 45 minute drive to Boston text messaging Dellynne. The brilliant plan was not without its hitch, as Dellynne struggled to keep up with the two expert texters, and was ultimately confused as to which texts came from which bachelor. Although neither Murray nor The Sleuth got the edge in the texting, their plan was successful in that Rabib was no longer the center of Dellynne's attention.

The next opportunity for exclusivity came on New Year's Eve, when The Sleuth boldly bolted ahead of the meandering group and whisked Dellynne away to observe a lively street performance on the streets of downtown Boston. Upon Dellynne's confession of her unbridled attraction for black men, The Sleuth used his lawyering skills to secure Dellynne a spot in the street performance, where she was one of 4 women over whom the flying acrobat somersalted his way to a few more dollars. Had the bachelors been watching, they would have seen the black street performer put more moves on Dellynne in 30 seconds than the entire lot of Diamond Dave, Murray, The Sleuth and Rabib did all weekend. Thankfully, The Committee ruled that the street performer was ineligible, and the eligible bachelors were saved. Later that evening, The Sleuth stamped his seal of pursuit on Dellynnidate by ending 2006 and beginning 2007 with Dellynne in his arms, as they effortlessly whisked around the apartment, swing dancing to the likes of Glen Miller and company.

Murray's tendency to be a more subtle and coy pursuer is well documented, and time and space prevent me from cataloging his numerous attempts to win Dellynne's heart. But those who know the Murr Man well know that he never does anything half-assed, and when it comes to women, few can resist his boyish good looks and charming personality. Only time will tell if his playful antics will prevail.

Diamond Dave, in true fashion, was at times reserved and at times confidently forward. While he announced to the group during our Sunday morning lounge around that he was "sorta dating this girl back in Nashville" (The Committee is still out on the exact definition of "sorta dating") he was also the only bachelor to play his Timeout Card with Dellynne. His timing was nothing short of impressive, and his 15 minutes of alone time with Dellynne were spent walking arm in arm along Singing Beach off of the coast near Ipswich and Essex.

Although not a participant, because of his failure to actually show up in Boston, Macey also made his present known in Essex through his Eposts on Dellynne's Efacebook. However, his failure to be physically present ultimately cost him, and any promises of victory were empty attempts to make him fell wanted, bless his heart.

In the end, Dellynne refused to name a winner (probably because she had no idea she would be IN Dellynnidate until she arrived in Boston, and because she did not want to risk offending any of her brother's friends). However, she did offer the following thoughts on the whole weekend:

The Sleuth, my neck looks bigger than my dad's [a reference to the tshirt]. But, who cares... you look good [I know].
Murray- leaves early. and, he's running his own business and stuff, he's too busy for Bostonian liberals.
Diamond Dave- is he available? hmmm... hard to say. plus, he may end up marrying a beautiful African lady, and who am I to stand in the way?
Rabib- don't know. he's at least within a reasonable distance. But, he's running off to get a doctorate somewhere...
The Sleuth- available- but, distance is an issue. Plus, he smokes a pipe, nobody likes a pipe smoker [for the record, Dellynne is the only girl we know who in fact owns her own pipe, and smokes it]. Macey- from Lakeland, his biggest appeal. But, maybe I don't want a Lakeland guy... plus, he didn't put in the effort to be here... he therefore must lose.

Dellynnidate 2006. She won't vote, so you must...cast your vote now.

Boston, here we come

Dellynnidate 2006. Let the games begin.